Barrack Obama has revealed that the United States Government will be trialling music by Panic! At The Disco as a means to interrogate suspected terrorists under it’s new PATD! policy introduced yesterday.
Panic! At The Disco have been torturing many innocent listeners through the radio and Internet for the past few years now whilst profiting from it. Now, the United States Government has finally realised that PATD! is the perfect way to interrogate suspected terrorists under it’s new PATD! policy to much praise and criticism.
Using various songs including “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”, the United States government has found that no one is capable of listening to more than 7 minutes of Panic! At The Disco music without going insane and suffering from severe depression and psychological disorders.
Early tests have shown promising results and Barack Obama has assured us that no one will ever have to be subjected to seven minutes of Panic! At The Disco music because it would be classed as illegal torture under current US policies. Not to mention the damage that would be caused would be as he put it “too immense for any man or women to bear.”
Panic! At The Disco front man Brendon Urie said: “We are honoured that the government acknowledges that we are a band and that we make decent enough music that even terrorists can listen too and enjoy.”
Implementation of the PATD! strategy is expected to be fully implemented by the end of 2009 according to Obama.
Popularity: 1% [?]
WTF IS UR PROBLEM, panic at the disco isnt bad at all, they have hippie music, which is peacefull and happy, not depressing, and what exactly do you listen to ? the internets bi-polar love child? the jonas brothers is worse than P!atd, or try hannah montana, so do not turn something that is awesome into an ICBM< you fucking redneck inbred pre-teen moron.
Peace, Panic! at the disco is crap, and you know it
Better just listen to They Might Be Giants instead.
This is just dumb. First of all, I didn’t even finish the article without finding a few errors in your spelling. Reading on, what a surprise, I found even more. Also, the band no longer has the ‘!’ in their name, and when abbreviated, is not PATD! …even if they still had the exclamation in their name, how would that make sense? Oh, also, it just plain wasn’t humorous. Maybe you should work on sounding professional and/or actually being funny.
Andy,
If you think you found errors in my post, I think you need to learn to read a fucking dictionary (or just learn to read). Anyone with half a brain can see that this article has no spelling errors in it, obviously you’re the latter; without half a brain, probably not even a quarter of one.
If you’re referring to my use of “s” in-place of “z” in some words like realise – then you should know that not every country uses Americanised spelling. I am from Australia, and therefore you should know if you knew anything; that Australia doesn’t use your pathetic and lazy American English.
Who cares if they don’t use the exclamation mark any more – it’s obvious I don’t like Panic At The Disco; and so, I wouldn’t know, couldn’t care less if they dropped the exclamation mark.
I suggest that you;
A.) Learn to read;
B.) Learn to write better insulting comments;
C.) Growing a brain and growing up while you’re there;
D.) Get better taste in music;
E.) Stop defending crappy bands with no musical talent or direction.
Shrimp on barbie and a vegamite sandwich. Roo burgers yall.
Wow Karl, congratulations on pointing out an outdated stereotype. You are one smart guy; the education standard must have increased in Tennessee by a whole basis point, good for you.
PS. People don’t say yall in Australia, that’s Texas (you know, a place in America).
I’m a hardcore Grammar Nazi; therefore, I’d like to tell you that your (second) last sentence was a run-on. Also, when Panic was synth happy on their first album, it was awful. They evolved (into more fecal matter, but that’s another point) into a less torturing sound. This joke isn’t as relevant or funny anymore. It’s been done before with other bands, and is generally a repost no matter how you look at it.
In no way am I defending Panic at the Disco, or any of its fans; I’m just saying that your satire is poop. It’s a wonder this ever made it onto Stumble.
Karl Rove,
Very clever. *clap* *clap*. Now let me have a turn;
This is my impression of the American stereotype:
* I’m from America, err derr how do I read again?
* I’ll have a burger with extra cholesterol with a side of coronary heart disease please
* WAR, WAR, WARRR!!! Must get oil and kill innocent civilians
* Oh noes, terrorists attacked us (or so the government says) and we believed them even though it was the government
Matt,
I’d hardly call my second last paragraph running on, a serious grammatical error of epic proportions. You see, as long as it’s readable (of which, it is) – it shouldn’t matter if one last sentence ran on for a little bit.
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but this website is nothing serious. I don’t take my writing seriously (I’m not a journalist), and I believe I have a firm enough grasp of the English language even if I make a mistake or two every now and then.
I’ve seen way worse blog posts in the satire category posted on the Internet and on StumbleUpon before. Not everyone goes around picking on minor errors in peoples grammar and spelling in fallacious ways, Matt.
LOL. You pissed-off a lot of people again.
Please don’t kill me other commenters.)
From Nickelback, to Simple Plan, and now Panic at the Disco.
Will you please do Fall Out Boy next time? I don’t like that guitarist guy that married Ashlee Simpson.
(I’m kidding.
I do find it hilarious that this post got more of a reaction than my “gays shouldn’t be allowed to have children” post. Hmm.
It’s okay that your grammar’s not perfect, I guess. I just like playing devil’s advocate when someone flames an easy target.
Matt,
Well, I like cheese.
Lol, I find it hilarious that the basis of your articles are so weak. Remember, everybody’s taste in music sucks except your own
I will more than likely never visit this particular post again but needed to tell Andy that he sucks and needs to stop, using, so, many commas.
D,
Weak by who’s standards, your Standards? YOU HAVE NO STANDARDS.
We filipinos love Barack Obama. we think that he would be the best president of the United States and that he always makes wise decisions when it comes to foreign policy.
Honestly, this article was lame. And your answers to the comments suck. How can one person be filled with so much hate?
ok, i take back what i said. you obviously like to provoke. that’s funny
zoinks! that’s good!
Wow, too bad all of Panic’s music is fucking awsome and you sir, are a failure. *proud and SKINNY American girl* – Terrorism isn’t something to joke about. Alot of people died in 911 and I see no good reason why the government would make it up. So shut the hell up you racist bastard, and get your crap off the internet.