Tag Archives: Blogging
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Twitter Makes Kanye West Cry

by Probably Sucks on 13. May, 2009 in Music & Reviews, Opinion

There are not many things that can make a grown man cry, unless you are Kanye West. Known for his caps lock style ranting and cyber crying, Kanye West is at it again. This time he’s crying over the fake Kanye West Twitter accounts impersonating him with a massive amount of followers, voicing his frustration on his blog.

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Apparently he doesn’t need a Twitter because he only supposedly blogs 5% of whatever he’s up too in the first place. Could that have anything to do with the fact that he doesn’t do anything in the first place, and everything he blogs about is the only work he does, or that he doesn’t want to seem any gayer than he actually is?

He then carries on to say that he is too busy being creative to have a Twitter. Who knew that copying and pasting drum samples into an audio editing application and stealing other peoples songs and covering them could be so hard?

That Kanye is such a hard worker, we should all lead by his example! Except of course his obvious gay infatuation with designer labels and products that mostly only girls and closet gays wear, connection?

Referring to the Twitter staff at twitter as the “heads of Twitter” a few times in his blog post, he has no clue what is on about. He then proceeds to question why Twitter allow fake celebrity profiles to be created like he’s the only one who is being impersonated on Twitter, please..

He then politely asks Twitter to “TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW” and his reason for it is “BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!”

Kanye you’re a piece of worthless crap. There are far more talented artists out there in the same genre (probably not as known) that work harder than you do. It must be hard waking up in the morning deciding whether to wear the brown Louie Vuitton bag or wear the white Louie Vuitton bag. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Here is the post in it’s entirety, in case you’re too scared you’ll catch Kanye West’s Aids from visiting his blog.

(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER… WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I’M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I’M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I’M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I’M NOT AND I’M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN’T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT… THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN’T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT’S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW …. WHY? … BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

If you think that rant was hilarious, wait, there’s more. The comments reveal a pattern of stupidity (mostly) probably caused by the brain damaging effect of Kanye’s ghetto music.

IcedDra9onRob0t | May 12, 2009
I DON’T TWITTER BUT, AMBER ROSE’S TWITTER IS REAL RIGHT? DIDDY MADE TWITTER POPULAR. SOME TWITTER PAGES ARE COOL.

NASTYFRESHKING | May 12, 2009
TWITTERIN TWATS…
FUCK EM ALL!

r_baldy | May 12, 2009
TAKE HIS FUCKING TWITTER DOWN NOW! HE DOESNT TWITTER…oops caps

Louie_Pradagucci | May 12, 2009
ANOTHER KLASSICK RANT BY KANYE WEST!!! I LOVE IT!!!! HE MAKES ME WANNA USE CAPS EVEN MORE!!!! LOL!!!! KEEP CAPPIN’ ON MR.WEST!!!!!!!!!!

This is my favourite one of all in the comments. He forgot his password and they sent him a link, and he still was too stupid to get into his Twitter. I think Kanye’s music is really benefiting mankind.

skyweezy | May 12, 2009
****TWITTER IS WACK ANYWAY, I COULDNT REMEMBER MY PSSWRD SO I GOT THE LINK TO MY EMAIL AND STILL NO SUCCESS, F**K TWITTER!!!***

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loser-blogging

7 Reasons People Don't Visit Your Blog

by Probably Sucks on 08. May, 2009 in Lists

You slave away at your keyboard writing content you think is awesome and about things you think everyone will want to read and stumble, well you can just get the fuck off the Internet and delete your blog if you think that. Your blog is a piece of crap, nobody thinks it is great, nobody cares.

If your blog applies to one or more of these on the list, then it needs some work before anyone is going to keep coming back.

  1. You are using the default theme that comes with your blogging software. Wake up! your blog looks boring. You may think that people are only coming for the content, but people eat with their eyes before their mouths first. If you’re using the default theme, you’re a douchebag and deserve no traffic to your blog, and that is exactly what you will get
  2. You don’t proofread or spellcheck anything you write. If you misspell a word or two it’s a common mistake and your readers will love pointing that out to make themselves feel more superior on the Internet. But if your blog posts are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, don’t expect anyone to understand a word you are saying or to return again
  3. Your blog is completely unoriginal and boring. If you’re writing about the same things other blogs are writing about, what reason would someone have to visit your blog? People love interesting, unique and new things to read. Nobody likes reading or hearing about the same thing 100 times. This goes for all Twitter acquisition talks, Yahoo! acquisition talks and rants about Windows Vista especially
  4. Your blog is a proverbial graveyard of boredom. People come to your blog because they seek something to appease to their eyes and minds, stuff that is interesting, witty and funny. If people wanted to read something that put them to sleep, they’d read Time magazine instead. Throw in a joke or two, share a funny picture, embed a funny Youtube video of a man getting hit in the nuts, anything!
  5. Too many fucking ads. People come to your blog to read, not have to close 100 fucking pop-up ads and sift through content riddled with Google ads placed after every paragraph. Your blog will make next to no money whatsoever in the early days. If you’re going to use ads, use them sparingly and put them in non obstrusive positions like the sidebar. Placing ads on a small-time blog actually has a negative effect as it will most likely repel visitors and make you seem money oriented rather than content oriented
  6. Hurry up and load. If your site takes more than 5 seconds to start loading something and be fully loaded a few seconds after, kiss your visitors goodbye. Nobody wants to wait, your blog probably isn’t important enough for a visitor to be patient and wait, unless they have a reason too, but they don’t.
  7. Your hosting sucks. Sometimes other people may think your content is awesome and it’s shared on StumbleUpon, Digg, Reddit, Yahoo! Buzz, Delicious and other places – if your hosting is completely crap and can’t handle a little visitor hike, be prepared to lose a lot of visitors. If you’re serious about blogging, go with a proper host that can handle the traffic.

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