Tag Archives: Barack Obama
The-Moon

NASA Reveals A Huge Chunk of The Moon Is Heading For Earth

In what can only be described as curiosity gone wrong – NASA have revealed that their experiment to detect water on the moon has gone horribly wrong after a huge chunk of the moon itself broke loose from the impact and is heading for the Earth’s atmosphere. It might be here within days if attempts to divert it’s impact fail.

Some Scientist’s believe that the piece will break up on entry from the intense heat, but some other scientist’s seem to paint a different picture about this. The chunk of moon is believed to be 350 miles wide and weigh thousands of tonnes (the exact number is not known). Some scientist’s are claiming it is simply too big for it too break up to a safe size and that it is large enough too take out Hawaii and surrounding areas if it is too land where predicted.

NASA however do advise us that they have a plan. Their secret weapon ‘Chad Kroeger’ – the notorious lead singer of radio filler band Nickelback is believed to be the key of possibly preventing a highly severe catastrophe. NASA believes that the damaging results of listening to Nickelback’s music may destroy the chunk of moon heading for Earth or even change it’s path to divert away from Earth avoiding any sort of collision.

Chad Kroeger said he is honoured to be able to perform all of his bands greatest hits to benefit mankind and to make a big load of cash to purchase more futons and expensive bottles of champagne.

Barack Obama and NASA have advised everyone not too panic as this crisis will be dealt with professionally and with as much force as possible to protect the planet and the American people from a severe catstrophe.

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US Govt To Use Panic! At The Disco For Interrogation of Terrorists

Barrack Obama has revealed that the United States Government will be trialling music by Panic! At The Disco as a means to interrogate suspected terrorists under it’s new PATD! policy introduced yesterday.

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Panic! At The Disco have been torturing many innocent listeners through the radio and Internet for the past few years now whilst profiting from it. Now, the United States Government has finally realised that PATD! is the perfect way to interrogate suspected terrorists under it’s new PATD! policy to much praise and criticism.

Using various songs including  “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”, the United States government has found that no one is capable of listening to more than 7 minutes of Panic! At The Disco music without going insane and suffering from severe depression and psychological disorders.

Early tests have shown promising results and Barack Obama has assured us that no one will ever have to be subjected to seven minutes of Panic! At The Disco music because it would be classed as illegal torture under current US policies. Not to mention the damage that would be caused would be as he put it “too immense for any man or women to bear.”

Panic! At The Disco front man Brendon Urie said: “We are honoured that the government acknowledges that we are a band and that we make decent enough music that even terrorists can listen too and enjoy.”

Implementation of the PATD! strategy is expected to be fully implemented by the end of 2009 according to Obama.

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