He might be dead, but he’ll always be the guy who has just as many jokes as Chuck Norris. Here are some Michael Jackson jokes with a sickening death twist to coincide with his sudden death at the age of 50.
He touched many of us (literally)
Feel free to share your disgust, hate, laughter and Michael Jackson jokes in the comments. It’s okay, Michael won’t mind what you say – he’s dead.
What’s white, stiff and cold?
Michael Jackson’s corpse.
How many Michael Jackson’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero. Michael Jackson is dead.
How Does Michael Jackson Pick His Nose?
From a catalogue.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
Plastic Bags don’t die.
So.. Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Oh, wait…
What time does Michael Jackson go to bed?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why did Michael Jackson stop breathing?
His nose fell off.
Why does Michael Jackson like 28 year olds?
Because he’s dead.
What do Michael Jackson and the so-called weapons of mass destruction in Iraq share in common?
They both don’t exist.
Michael Jackson is so dead that he hasn’t been this stiff since McCauley Caulkin slept over at Never land Ranch.
Why did Michael Jackson convert to Islam on his deathbed?
He heard he would be greeted in heaven by seventy two year old virgins.
What were Michael Jackson’s last words before he died?
I’m coming baby Jesus!
So… It looks like Michael Jackson was finally arrested
Cardiac arrested!
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the other little boy.
What’s the difference between Steve Irwin and Michael Jackson?
Nothing. They’re both dead.
After hearing Michael Jackson had died, Madeleine McCann has finally come out of hiding.
Disney expressed their sadness over Michael Jackson’s death, and also celebrated that now only Disney movie’s will be the only things to touch children.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson’s corpse and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
What was Michael Jackson’s last hit?
The floor.
Popularity: 1% [?]
iLove
-Claps- Bravo my friend, bravo. What an intelligent comeback. you must be so witty in real life huh?
FAIL.
Stick to your knock knock MJ jokes ;]
Lmfao,
I am the most intelligent person you probably have ever seen (that’s not really saying much though). Shut the fuck up you sad piece of shit.
man, stop makin fun of him. theres no proof he did what people say he did and besides, all the good he done in this world contradicts anything that he done.
Thats all i have to say about you guys.
R.I.P Michael Jackson <3
FUCK OFF PPL… HE WAS A NICE MAN… HE CUD NEVER DO WAT HE WAS BLAMED OFF… ITS AL BULLSHIT…
m isn t king of pop, hes king of pedos (pedophiles) and the jokes r cool
rebecca, u gotta be pedo vorshipper if u say that rip mj fuck him,id blow the shit out of him if i was given half the chance
you guys are soooo immature and need to get a life and stop making fun of michael jackson…he did more good things in the world than probably any of you so you all can just shut up and for gods sake respect him at least now since he’s dead! by the way….none of you can prove he did anything wrong
mackenzie
omg yeah your right dude i keep receiving emails and i keep reading stupid comments from stupid people! lol they think that they earn something by doing that
so thick! LOL and from the last time i came he EDITED THE BACKROUND hahhaahahahahhahah! oh my god i cant stop laughing! he thinks by doing that he will attract people!! hahahahahhahahah
You all need to get a fucking life you immature and illiterate pieces of shit. If this post bothers you so much, stop replying you homosexual inbred pieces of shit.
Who cares about this sites layout? I certainly don’t. Who cares if the background changed, half you idiots can barely turn on your computers let alone run a website or change a background image on one.
Go back to masturbating over internet pornography like the desperate, lonely and nerdy fucks you are.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuck michael jacksooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!11!!one!!!oen!!111!eleven
Michael jackson was a pedophile and a freak. He did nothing good for this world except scar many children for life.
rawclams, ur one of the few who has the right brains .
This is filth! I hope you never get accused of something you didn’t do, TWO juries refused to indict 1993 case and he was found not guilty in 2005. Two greedy families too bone idle to work for a living. Do your research in future then hang your head in shame!!
redemption by geraldine hughes
conspiracy by aphrodite jones
the untold story of neverland by larry nimmer dvd
the trial and triumph of the king of pop dvd
zimbio.com/Hip+Hop+Culture/articles/NYrfi5fp_1n/Micheal+Jackson+Accuser+Jordon+Chandler+Court
rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?noframes;read=64536
site2.mjeol.com/video/video-2005-mesereau-had-witnesses-ready-to-testify-against-chandler.html
yes he did molest kids, ur just a pedo
all who hate michael jackson say aye
AYE!
AYE!
woo
LMAO at you haters! So patheticXD it must be killing you to see all the tributes made for him all over the world, ppl crying, poster here, t-shirt sales there, all the stars saying how effing awesome he was, all the flashmobs, all the sing- and dance shows having MJ specials, his music, videos everywhere. Just EVERYWHERE! HAHAHAHAHHA IN YOUR FACES DICKHEADS
even if he didnt molest kids, which i think he did, he changed his skin color. for that he is the biggest freak n piece of shit ever. people, is that the kind of role model kids need? changing skin? I also dont like his music, but thats just my opinion
lol
well he didnt molest kids because the kid that accused him for molesting him admitted that his father forced him to do that! and he changed his skin color because he had the skid disease vittiligo something like that! which means that he started getting white and then he decided to change his skin color! just dont believe the bullshit that they put into ur mine!
All mj haterz can suck my fat hairy ballz, and anyone who thinks mj is a pedo is a pedo themselves cos they are tryin to cover their own crime, take that mofo’s
u can suckle on me boob, u stupid faggot nobody even gave a shit while he was alive, but now everyone is all like “oh, MJ is dead how tragical” but he was a fucking piece of shit and a freakin’ pedophile!!!!!!!!!!!!! dang, i’d kill him, burn him, take the biggest shit in my life on his face, and, and,… let everyone else who hates that asshole do the same thing to him
“he changed his skin color”
No sir. He had a skin disease. Do some research before you make yourself sound ignorant.
hahaha, he was a massive pedo.
“nobody even gave a shit while he was alive”
Nobody gave a shit? If that were true, he wouldn’t have sold out his O2 concert in London. So obviously, people did care.
waste of time arguing over a man whos dead.. does it matter if he was a pedo or w/e? hes dead stop the arguing u kids
If he was so innocent why would he settle? You don’t fucking settle when you’re innocent. You settle because you know you’re going to get fucked in court because you’re guilty and don’t want jail time.
I don’t buy the skin disease bullshit. If true it’s one of the most extreme cases of all time. And there is absolutely no denying that he changed his face (in a pitiful attempt to look more caucasian it seems).
Him being such a terribly charitable man, whynwould he not donate once or start a foundation for the research of this horrifying disease?
Because he’s full of fucking shit.
The world is a better place now that that pedo is dead.
Now if we could only do something about the catholic church…
Or religion in general…
And he sold out his shows because people have no taste in music whatsoever. He didn’t even write his own shitty songs either.
Never feel sorry for someone with a jet. if you get all butt hurt over MJ jokes, you’re what holds back humankind.
Oh and you rule, Rationality…and correct you are.
he didn’t even right his own songs.
HAHAHAHA thats so funny. why would you like michael jackson he’s an over-medicated, self-important, emotionally-stunted, borderline pedophile who hasn’t made a good song in 20 years. evryone made fun of mj, now they are treating him like god. christ i’m 12, iand i dont give 2 shits about mj.
One piece of information I would like to know is, how old are you, MichaelJacksonLover? Your grammar and vocabulary make you look like you’re about five, and your delusional view of Michael Jackson merely reveals your clearly imbecillic (and most probably inbred) frame of mind. There’s no point in cursing at me, as I’m very well versed in intelligent English, and I won’t stoop to your level. Why can’t you look at the facts of the matter, instead of Jacko’s music only? The guy was clearly a pervert, most likely even a paedophile. Everyone else who doesn’t live under a rock can tell, so what happened to you?
Ok guys look! one day i was bored and i went on google and found this site! i was really mad when i saw the michael jacksons jokes and i was really mad when i saw that there are some people who dont respect dead people! so i decided to leave a comment swearing ( i admit it) then probably the owner of this site started a fight with me! and this continued for about 2 weeks! but then i realized that i was paying attention to something really stupid so i ignored him and this site! BUT i kept receiving emails from this site when people were commenting on this site swearing at michael jackson…. DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING MORE IMPORTANT TO DO TO YOUR LIFE RATHER THAN MAKING FUN OF SOMEONE YOU HATE????
well i do but i cant ignore you guys anymore! im fed up!
and as for you Voiceofreason! well sorry but i left from UK in 1999 and i was born in 1993! i was 6 years of age when i left UK and my english isnt that well! so better judge yourself first… FIX YOURSELF and then when you become PERFECT come and judge me! im 17 years old! i may be younger than you but im smarter than you! I KNOW HOW TO RESPECT A DEAD MAN!
What do you mean by MAN?
Michael jackson lover,
Correct me if I am wrong (which I am not) but the United Kingdom’s primary language is English. How can you blame being born in the UK and then immigrating on your bad grammar and English?
You’re a sad piece of shit, you really should die, because you’re fucking pathetic. You’re 17 years old? Sure could have fooled me, get an education and learn some words from http://www.dictionary.com you sad piece of generic dead-brained teenage shit.
Michael Jackson was not nor will he ever be a man. I am sure that if there is a heaven and hell, he went to hell and I am sure if there is a hell, he is being tortured right now as I type this comment.
He was a kiddie fiddler, he deserved the life and death that he was dealt. Only an idiot would kill himself accidentally or on purpose with prescription medication.
ilove
!!!!!! sorry about my bad english
so i dont even know if you are voiceofreason and i really dont care! well i am 17 i cant prove it to you! but i am! i know that United Kingdoms primary language is english! from the day i left you idiot i live in a GREEK island! soooo i dont speak english anymore i only speak greek to my friends to my family etc! i may be bad at english but i have manners! you REALLY DONT HAVE MANNERS! you started swearing at me without even knowing me! so who is the kid now??? well let me think! hmm oh well you are! because only a kid would swore at me for nothing!
if you have michael jackson then you would probably never hear anything about him because you simply dont care! then how do you know he molested kids and how do you know is a pedophile???? no evidence so shut up and continue your life! just GET A LIFE this is totally dedicated to you: GEEEEET A FREAKING LIFE!!!!!!!!! when you will die and you’ll go to hell then you will for sure see michael jackson waving at you from heaven!
look i really dont have the time to start swearing at you and i really dont have the time and im not even in the mood to start explaining to you about michael jackson! if you need attention then go and fight with someone else except me! im tired of fighting with kids!i got more important things to do in my life! i have my girlfriend my family, my friends to take care and love them!!!!!! so if you are planning to answer back to me think this: i wont even see the email i will instantly delete it! so it will be kinda worthless!
P.S: You are really an asshole
Michael jackson lover,
I am not Voice of Reason, I am my own person. I’ve been commenting on this post for ages now, if you scroll up you will see I have had words with you before, cunt. How dare you forget who I am, you should be having nightmares about my supreme grasp of the English language you fool. I’m the king, bitch.
We don’t need to fight any more, I did get sick of winning. I’m sure everyone else here marvels at just how easy it is to upset a 17 year old kid on the Internet with an unhealthy Michael Jackson obsession by explaining the facts to you.
I suggest you go back to your Greek island, and leave the big boy English blog posts to people who can understand them and effectively debate them without coming off as an incoherent kid who has been eating too many olives and sniffing paint thinners from their uncles shed.
Ok everyone that likes michael jackson is a fucking doushe bag becasue for one reason he was a fucking kid rapist who didnt have enough of life to get a girlfriend and so instead he got a mentally disturbed bitch (elvis presley daughter) and pounded her every night using an extra small condom which barrely fitted his relativly small penis and if he was such a good person then why the fuck did he hang his son over a freakin balcony and also he changed his appearce so that he looked like some white peice of shit who sang stolen beattle songs and u guys that think that we should get a life and stop insulting michael jackson i have 2 words for u FUCK YOU if u guys had enough of a life u wouldent listen to some kid rapists song wich btw SUCK HAIRY DONKEY BALLS the only reason he got away with any of this shit is because he bribed the fucking police with tons of money so im fucking glad that michael jackson is dead the second i heard he died i celebated and and instantly made a facebook club saying MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD ROCK ON BECAUSE HE SUCKS so if u guys dont have a intersing comeback to send to me and are just gonna comment on my grammer then get a life and grow a dick so u can fuck jackson in hell were he god dam right deserves to be soeveryone that hates micheal jackson ROCK ON because he is a fucking piece kid raping plastic surgery addict freak. SO MICHAEL JACKSON YOU SUCK BALLS AND I HOPE YOU U BURN IN HELL.
oh and one more thing michael jackson lover you have the most pathetic comment ever get a freakin life asshole
Ok i have 1 thing to say michael jackson lover u try to sound tough and and powerful like some kind of macho guy i bet ur some fat loner nerd who spend his ours masturbating while watching michael jackson and copying internet insults becasue u have no life FUCK YOU MICHAEL JACKSON SUCKS HAIRY DONKEY BALLS
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!!!!!! your wasting your time commenting on this site and you think that you did something really good! oof im just bored of swearing at you! if i was in the mood seriously you wouldnt guys! so if you dont know someone then just dont swear at him!
MichaelJacksonLover,
I’m sorry to inform you that I also am 17.I’m not some adult, although your misbegotten belief that I am points out a fundamental fact of mature language: People think you’re older when you act like you are. Just because I may be young does not mean I must speak like you do. Some of us have manners. I’m from the rural American South. I’m not from a stuck up big city. I’m a redneck. That doesn’t mean I’m ignorant, stupid, or unintelligent. It just shows how where you’re from doesn’t need to affect your intelligence. And for goodness sake, stop informing us that you’re foreign! If it will cause your mindless babble to cease, then write in Greek!
And what in the world do you mean by “If you don’t know someone, don’t swear at him?” What are you talking about? Were you not just swearing at all of us?
hey michael jackson lover FUCK YOU get a life if u love michael jackson the kid rapist so much then why the fuck do u come to a michael jackson joke website u are proboly the most pathetic greek fucker in the history of fuckers so get a life grow a dick and get a friend u gay michael jackson lover FUCK YOU
Ha Ha nice one michael sucks balls u totally freakin owned michael jackson lover ha ha he sucks
“If he was so innocent why would he settle?”
He didn’t settle, his insurance company did.
And for the record, I would suggest doing research on the two families before you condemn a man of something as serious as molestation.
The first kid (Jordy Chandler) at the very beginning of it all said Jackson never did anything to him. Only after his father drugged him did he change his story.
The second kid (Gavin Arvizo) belongs to a family with a shady past. They had tried to get money out of celebrities before (Jay Leno, George Lopez) and the mother was even caught shop lifting and even tried to say the mall security sexually assaulted her. Plus, Gavin was known to be very rude to Jackson’s house staff.
Goodbye
Oh, shut up Madeline. Go cry me a fucking river, I don’t care if you think these families were making stuff up.
Michael Jackson was a weirdo, he has had far too many child molestation cases to be deemed innocent.
I don’t do research, because I am a fucking bad-ass, lone cowboy, a soldier.
The point is…Michael Jackson had little kids around. And as the thing says, the last time he was this stiff was when he was with McCauluy Culkin. the point is, he was a piece of shit bourgeois celebrity.
“he has had far too many child molestation cases to be deemed innocent.”
He had two, which is a far cry from other suspected molesters who’ve said to have 100′s of sexual crimes in their lifetime.
I’m not crying, I just think you look like a dumbass for calling someone a child molester when you seem to know very little about it apart from what you’ve read in tabloid magazines.