Probably Sucks | A blog that isn't afraid to make people cry through the internet.

How To Increase Your Mootools Performance By A Lot

by Probably Sucks on 27. Nov, 2009 in Web Development

Switch to jQuery, problem solved.

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De-index Your Site From Google and Suffer The Consequences

by Probably Sucks on 24. Nov, 2009 in Opinion

Rupert Murdoch seems to be suffering from late stage cenial syndrome after suggesting not long ago that he will de-index his news sites from Google if they don’t pay up some cash for supposedly hosting his content. Now it has been revealed that Microsoft have approached News Corporation and others urging them to de-index from Google and other engines, and have their content exclusively on Bing (and they’ll pay).

Sure Bing is gaining market share, but Google is still the leader. Most of my news is found from Google searches, I predict that News Corp is going to find out pretty soon the power of Google. Bing will bring minuscule traffic in comparison to Google. Whether these news sites like it or not, Google is definitely the king of search engines and de-indexing will only harm not help their sites.

So Rupert Murdoch, FUCK YOU. I hope you die sometime soon before you further damage the little credibility that News Corp has left.

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The Twilight Saga: New Moon Movie Review

by Probably Sucks on 24. Nov, 2009 in Reviews

All buzz, no spark: Twilight New Moon

The popularity of the Twilight series (both books and movies) amazes me, considering that Twilight isn’t exactly an original concept. Harry Potter was an amazing story because it had depth, it had a real interesting underlying story and didn’t have to rely on adding cheesy moments like shirtless guys with ripped bodies and tattoo’s just to get people to watch the movies.

New Moon is 40% Kristen Stewart (who plays Bella) acting depressed and trying to kill herself for most of the movie because her beloved vampire boyfriend Edward ditches her, and 60% shirtless muscley males doing pretty much nothing. They waste a good 5 or so minutes of movie time by her just sitting in front of a window as a camera rotates around her and the months change.

This movie will appeal to movie goers who like seeing toned upper male torsos in every scene (literally). I wasn’t sure if I was watching a body-building documentary or a movie half the time. There were maybe 3 action scenes in the whole movie (all involving shirtless males, of course) which had pretty decent special effects.

Unlike the first movie, it seems that the Twilight formula has changed and I have cracked the New Moon formula (notice the formula is slightly more complicated than that of the first movies which only had one rule, every scene must have Robert Pattinson in it):

a.) Every scene must have Robert Pattinson in it.
b.) If Robert Pattinson is not in a scene it must have one or more shirtless muscley guys, or Robert Pattinson as an apparition appearing (looking cool)
c.) Kristen Stewart (Bella) must at all times be either; angry, upset, suicidal, depressed, annoying or all of the above in every scene.

I don’t know what was worse, the movie or the people watching it in the cinema who kept gasping every time someone took their shirt off or all of the people crying at the poorly acted emotional scenes that made me laugh. I didn’t feel a drop of sadness the entire movie, only hungriness which the large popcorn and drink helped soothe.

Conclusion

If you’re a 14 year old girl, paedophile, gay or sexually deprived housewife then this movie is definitely for you. Otherwise save your money and go get drunk, it’ll be a lot more fun.

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Borderlands, A Pathetic Excuse For A Game

by Probably Sucks on 16. Nov, 2009 in Ranting

I played Borderlands on the weekend, it was the crappiest game I have ever played. It’s like a mixture of Fallout with Wall-E from the Disney movie Wall-E. When I’m tired games usually wake me up, but this game sent me right to sleep, perfect if you’re wanting to sleep on a Saturday night and in your early twenties.

Basically all you do is shoot and do stupid missions; like assemble a stupid robot who seems to experience the feeling of pain. The graphics look good, but where is the fucking game play and decent storyline? Where is the awesome factor? It has nothing. You shoot, kill, pick up loot and weapons. Lather, rinse and repeat.

I would have loved to been at the planning meetings for this game.

“We need a good storyline..”
“How about a cute little robot that helps you at the start, then you do stupid missions and shoot and collect items? I saw Wall-E on the weekend and that robot is so cute, I really think a violent game like this deserves some kind of cute factor”
“Genius! we’ll use the Fallout code-base, change it up a bit and put in a Wall-E like robot”
“Profit, profit, profit!”

Multi-player might be marginally better than single player, but you can only shoot and loot for so long before it gets repetitive and boring. I much prefer Grand Theft Auto 4 which doesn’t get boring so easily and has a little more diversity.

GameSpot actually gave this game an 8.5, what the hell were they smoking when they reviewed this? Probably a lot of weed, I hear it makes things seem a lot funner than they actually are. I think maybe the development and story-writing team were reaching into the same dope bag too.

Play Borderlands if you’re an RPG nerd that likes to be lulled to sleep by overdone gancy graphics and sounds of people dying from animated bullets.

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News Story Fail

by Probably Sucks on 02. Oct, 2009 in Images & Visual Stuff

I think maybe the wrong image was selected for the news story and it’s caption.

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Some Advertising Idea's For Mother Energy Drink

by Probably Sucks on 08. Sep, 2009 in Images & Visual Stuff

Mother energy drink is a highly popular energy drink in various places around the globe. A good energy drink deserves a good advertising campaign, right? So here are two idea’s of many that the Mother energy drink people can take and use for free.

Emo’s Hate Mother

Orphans Would Love A Mother

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Yahoo! Answers Just Went To Another Level

by Probably Sucks on 04. Aug, 2009 in Images & Visual Stuff

Of course it’s a troll, but it’s still funny.

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He Is Legend – It Hates You Album Review

by Probably Sucks on 17. Jul, 2009 in Music & Reviews

He Is Legend have been around for quite a few years now and 1 ep and 2 albums later, He Is Legend have released the much anticipated It Hates You. Although the album isn’t a complete train-wreck, it’s not as good as it could be either. It’s lacking a lot of that trademark He Is Legend energy.

He Is Legend seem to have been plagued with problems ever since the conception of Suck Out The Poison back in 2006 with news of break-ups and hiatus’s, only to have them comeback and release the album. There is a lot of uncertainty and doubt, and this also happened with It Hates You.

It Hates You seems to successfully manage to combine southern rock with melodic elements and catchy bass lines. It’s kind of dark, but also upbeat at the same time.

It has a very Suck Out The Poison type feel to it, with some songs sadly feeling incomplete and like they consist of recycled guitar riffs from Suck Out The Poison.

The vocals however could have been a bit better. Vocalist Schuylar Croom no longer seems to scream like he did in previous albums, and now seems to use raspy deep singing instead.

This album is annoying at times, and great at other times. Some tracks seem to generate the feeling of being rushed, or like they’re simply filler tracks. You can hear this by comparing tracks such as; Don’t Touch That Dial and Party Time!!!.

The diva type vocals in some of the songs that were also on Suck Out The Poison (but not the same person) seem to have made a comeback. They sure do love adding ‘oooh, whoaaaa, ohhhhh’ into their songs in the background.

A lot of the songs on this album, I’d say about 70% don’t really have any playback worthiness to them. Which is sad, because I really did like this bands previous material.

If they manage to stay together, I’m sure their next album will be better no doubt.

Some of the stand-out tracks on this album are; Futures Bright, Man. Dicephalous. Everyone I Know Has Fangs.

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Why You Shouldn't Take Advice From Yahoo! Answers

by Probably Sucks on 15. Jul, 2009 in Images & Visual Stuff

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A Note I Found In My Workplace Bathroom

by Probably Sucks on 14. Jul, 2009 in Images & Visual Stuff

I went to the bathroom the other day, walked into the toilet cubicle and what do I see? A fucking note claiming to be from a pube-a-phobic. I laughed my ass off (literally), I was sitting on the toilet reading it.

It was attached to the bathroom stall door, so it’s visible only when you close the door to defecate your workplace bathroom with your smelly curry you had for lunch.

The note reads:

PLEASE!

Stop leaving your pubes on the toilet seat.

Also, the toilets are always messy. If its you, please stop it.

If its not you – then tell the person sitting beside you.

Thank you,

Pube-a-phobic

See photos of the note below. You might want to click on them to open up a bigger more readable version.

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