Australian Schoolyard Bullying Is A Fucking Joke

Bullying seems to be on the rise in Australian schools, kids as young as 12 and 13 are stabbing one another and victimising other students. It’s obvious there is no solution in place to fix this, “Oh, Tommy nearly killed Lucy with a fishing knife, so lets just suspend him for a week or so, then he can come back and finish her off” – discipline is a fucking joke these days.

I’m in my really early twenties, so I’m young (in-case you want to know that). But when I went to school, I remember nearly being expelled (not suspended) for having too many absent days in year 12. Kids are killing each other and bringing knives to school, and only get suspended, yet I nearly got expelled for having too many days off? Where is the fucking justice and focus here?

I swear all of the stories I’ve heard from my parents and their time at school, it makes modern day schooling sound like a holiday camp. My mother recalls getting hit with a hard handled feather duster for only talking in class. My father getting the cane once because he was late to school, I think those kinds of extremes need to be brought back into schools immediately.

Bring back the cane, set-up some kind of hard labour detention program within the school which would make kids who did something wrong stay back after school hours and do work with the groundsman or make them come in on a weekend and do it. Is something like that really that hard to implement? Nope. Will the governments ever do something like that? Nope.

I find it comical and sad that the government is spending millions of dollars and wasting time on implementing an internet filter to protect kids from bad websites on the Internet, yet they’re not doing something about physical abuse happening in schools. Would you rather the government protect your kids from being stabbed or protect them from opening up a pornography website?

How about the government funds some school discipline programs, and perhaps implements self-defence classes into school. Get a martial arts expert, or ex professional boxer to come in and train kids at school to know the basics of defending themselves. Make it mandatory while you’re there.

Check out this news story which kind of inspired this opinionated rant: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,1,26803685-421,00.html

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The Apple iPad Sucks, But It Will Still Be A Success

Apple has done it again, created another shitty & feature restricted product everyone will be foaming at the mouth for, the iPad. Every man nerd and his dog girlfriend will be lining up to get one of these things, even if they don’t need one or know what the fuck it does.

The iPad is really just an oversized version of an iPhone or iPod Touch. It can run the same apps, has a touch screen and doesn’t let you multitask on it. Sounds great doesn’t it? You want one already.

I really admire Apple; they could sell most of you a lump of coal and call it iCoal, it wouldn’t do anything, but you’d still want to buy it because Apple would ensure if you didn’t buy one, you’ll be alienating yourself from society. Quite personally I think it’s fucking ugly, I mean do Apple think they’re at a point now where they can create anything and know it’s customers will buy it?

I wonder if it will suffer from overheating issues and perhaps burn some customers, leaving a horrible scar reminding them of the crappy and highly expensive purchase that they didn’t need to make for the rest of their lives. If you’re planning on buying one of these, you’re just another Applesheep following the herd to your nearest Apple store.

The sad thing is millions of people will buy this, then Apple will release a newer version in one years time. Thus causing you to go into a fit of panic as you try and scurry up more cash to buy the new iPad-S

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Eminem Relapse: Refill Review

Once again, I’m not a fan of rap music but sometimes if I hear something that is actually good, I will like it. My music taste is mainly metal & hardcore music with maybe some Chamillionaire thrown in for good measure.

Relapse is an EP I guess you could say, or perhaps an album of b-sides, I don’t know. These tracks (except Forever) were apparently cut from the official release of Relapse and now Eminem is going for a cash-grab with Refill in the interim before Relapse 2 is released.

There are some pretty catchy and awesome songs on this one. I had heard Forever ages ago and Eminem pretty much kills the entire song; Kanye West, Lil’ Wayne & Drake can get fucked as far as I am concerned because they pale in comparison.

Track 2, “Hell Breaks Loose” is no-doubt going to be a fan favourite. It has one of the most catchiest beats I have ever heard, plus Eminem’s flow is 100 times better than some of the tracks that on Relapse probably because he doesn’t use any foreign sounding voices and actually raps.

Track 3, “Buffalo Bill” is pretty average. Kind of sounds like it is trying to hard to be controversial and shocking. Basically a song about a guy who skins people alive and uses a chainsaw, etc. The lyrics are pretty funny to read though, hilarious song.

Track 4, “Elevator” this song isn’t that great at all, bored me right to sleep. Doesn’t have a good enough flow to be deemed an Eminem song in my opinion, but what the fuck do I know, right?

Track 5, “Taking My Ball” is not even worth a listen, don’t waste your time with this one. Eminem uses some stupid sounding voice on this one but not the same voice he used on Relapse though and drops some celebrity names like Christopher Reeves and Lindsay Lohan.

Track 6, “Music Box” this song is once again catchy and at the same time a disturbing song that paints the picture of a serial killer who eats his victims. This song has a really good beat behind it with a music box playing and deep bass that gets the speakers moving.

Track 7, “Drop The Bomb On ‘Em” is probably one of the best songs on the album. It has a catchy beat, Eminem’s flow is literally amazing on this one. The chorus gets stuck in your head after only one listen.

Overall this album isn’t that great, well I mean EP of Relapse b-sides. There are a couple of keepers on this, but nothing really on it that is worth buying. It’s nothing more than a cash in, but I guess you get that when you’re regarded as one of the best rappers of our time.

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What The Fuck?

Kissed Your Sister

/sing

I kissed my sis and I liked it
I hope my mum and dad don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Because theres a pedobear here tonight

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Fuck You Lil Wayne

Lil Wayne is not a fucking rapper, end of story. If you think Lil Wayne is the greatest rapper alive, please electrocute yourself. He can’t rap for shit, his voice is irritating and he plays the tough guy persona but probably couldn’t defend himself at an under 13′s boxing match.

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Stupid Woman Sues Mobile Phone Companies After Her Mother Was Killed By Talking Driver

For a supposedly advanced and intelligent species, some of us are pretty fucking dumb. There is a lady who’s mother was killed in a car accident by someone talking on a mobile phone, boo hoo etc. This lady is now attempting to sue the companies that provided the drivers mobile phone and telephone service claiming they’re responsible for her mothers accident.

Firstly, this lady is probably the biggest idiot I think I have ever heard of in my life (including myself). She hopes to prove that the companies should have foreseen the dangers and that they failed to provide adequate warnings. While we’re at it, why don’t we make gun manufacturers responsible for drive by shootings and accidental deaths? Why don’t we make drug companies responsible when someone overdoses on their drugs? I can’t believe this lady is actually serious, she needs to be killed herself.

The lawsuit, filed in October, involves a crash in Oklahoma City on Sept. 3, 2008. Ms. Smith’s mother, Linda Doyle, 61, died after her Toyota Rav4 was hit by a Ford pickup driven by Christopher Hill. Mr. Hill, then 20, told the police he was so distracted by a cellphone call that he ran a red light at 45 miles an hour, hitting Ms. Doyle’s car as it crossed in front of him.

Mr. Hill was talking on a Samsung UpStage phone on the Sprint Nextel service. Samsung declined to comment. Sprint Nextel said that it “rejects the claims of negligence” in the suit and that it includes safety messages on packaging and user manuals, on its Web site and in its advertising.

It’s funny because the guy that actually killed her mother whilst talking on the phone even said that it’s not the mobile phone companies fault. “It’s our choice if we’re going to talk on the cellphone while driving or walking down the street or in the office,” he said. “The cellphone companies don’t say you should talk on the phone and drive.”

So Jennifer Smith, get over yourself. I hope you lose a lot of money for such a pointless and shitty lawsuit wasting our courts time when real criminals and lawsuits could be in-place of yours.

Source

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Patrick Swayze Dead Jokes

How many Patrick Swayze’s does it take to change a light bulb?
Zero. Because he is dead.

What do you get when you cross Patrick Swayze with a telephone?
A dead ringer.

What’s the difference between Edward Cullen from Twilight and Patrick Swayze?
Edward Cullen is still alive.

What is the difference between Patrick Swayze’s corpse and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

What have Patrick Swayze and Stevie Wonder got in common?
Neither of them will see Christmas!

What is God getting Michael Jackson this Christmas?
Patrick Swayze.

What’s the difference between Patrick Swayze and Heath Ledger?
Nothing. They’re both dead.

Patrick Swayze?
More like Patrick Cancer!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Patrick
Patrick who?
Not Patrick Swayze, he’s dead.

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Dear Internet, Stop With Damn The Firefox Addon Lists

We get it alright. You love Firefox and found some cool plugins, but wait, you also have a blog? Maybe you should make a top “insert number here” Firefox add-ons for “insert some generic profession, hobby or use here”. You already did you say? GTFO out of the Internet, you are no blogger sir, nor will you ever be by making these pathetic search engine baiting girly lists.

I am a StumbleUpon user and on a daily basis I am subject to maybe 5 or 6, “25 Best Firefox Add-ons For Web Developers and Designers” lists informing me of “must have” add-ons. Lets sum this up and make it clear to you brain-dead bloggers who keep writing these lists, 97% of the people you’re writing these lists for do not care and have already heard of these marvellous extensions because they have been around since forever.

If you’re a web developer or designer, I am going to assume 99.9% of you use Firefox, and know what the good and useful Firefox extensions are. Web developers already know about Firebug and I mean ALL OF THEM, yet you continue to add it to your list like it’s something new and magical that nobody has ever heard of before.

I cannot imagine a conversation like the following ever occurring:

Web developer #1: Hey dude, you heard of Firebug for Firefox? It’s a cool extension that lets you debug, edit and make live code changes to your XHTML, JavaScript and CSS. It has all kinds of other features, including child plugins like PixelPerfect and FirePHP that let you debug your PHP code and overlay web designs on the site you’re working on to make sure it’s perfect.

Web developer #2: Oh, wow! Really? I have never heard of Firefox or any of those things you mentioned before, is it free? Do you think I will like it? I think I must try all of them, they sound so awesome.

Write about something interesting and worthwhile, save the lists for shopping and tasks. Or die in a horrific car accident.

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Kings of Leon Can Kill – Researchers

kings of leon

To many a Kings of Leon CD appears relatively harmless, but it has been revealed that Kings of Leon is capable of causing severe injury and in most cases death, according to secret tests revealed today.

The results revealed that listening to Kings of Leon’s music can rupture one or both of your ear drums causing internal bleeding into the brain, and the only symptom you’ll have is a bad headache according to European Commission researchers.

All CD releases by Kings of Leon are capable of causing damage and death, but according to the researchers those who are exposed to any of their later material might be most at risk, due to there being more whining than their previous releases which is said to be the cause of the damage the music causes.

In 2008, 400 people needed hospital treatment after being exposed to Kings of Leon with minor to severe injuries, with 85 of those dying from their injuries shortly after the damage had been caused.

Meglena Kuneva, European Commissioner for Consumer Affairs, said: “This report is a wake-up call. National authorities and industry will redouble efforts to crack down on the distribution and release of Kings of Leon’s music. But consumers also need to work to minimise safety risks: so be vigilant, be active and be aware, that way everyone can have a safe and happy Christmas.”

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Michael Buble's Little Cry Baby Tough Girl Alter Ego

Not so long ago Michael Buble (you know the guy who thinks he is God’s gift to women and also thinks that he has an amazing voice) revealed that he is sick of being typecast as a “cheesy crooner”, boo hoo Michael you’re breaking my heart you fucking girl.

Acting like he is the only person that critics give a hard time, he sent out a warning saying that he next person that dares criticise him will end up with a fist in their face, ooh scary. I mean look at the guy, the only thing he could knock out is another notch on his belt after eating a few cheeseburgers on the weekend (if he is lucky).

Let’s sum up Michael Buble

  • He writes cheesy crooner tracks about love, and other things that people think are cheesy
  • He has a bad haircut which makes him look like an army recruit reject
  • He is all talk, every word out of his mouth is just that, words without substance
  • He thinks he is funny, but really he is just another boring crooner trying to impress people in hopes of them buying his boring cheesy music
  • He is from Canada (America’s waste bin), do I really need to say anything more?

He even goes on to say that he is so tough because he played ice hockey while he was growing up, what a man Michael Buble is. I mean forget the tens of thousands of other people grew up playing ice hockey, it didn’t make all those other people tough men like Michael Buble.

Stop acting like you’re so tough, I bet there are a whole lot of people in this world that could knock you straight onto the ground before you even got a punch in (most of them 13 year old kids).

Read the rest of what he was saying here

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