Now I know beating up dead people might be perceived as “cruel” or “unfair” considering they’re dead, but we’re talking about something entirely different here. It is a commonly known fact that Michael Jackson died at the age of 50 suffering a heart attack, wrong. Soon after Michael Jackson’s death he came back to life as a zombie, almost resembling himself in the music clip for Thriller.
Lock up your childre, Michael is back!
So why do we want to beat him up? Good question. Now that Michael Jackson has risen from the dead as a zombie, he is really pissed off. It seems that he’s read some of the dead Michael Jackson jokes that have been posted on the Internet and he wants revenge.
To beat up a dead brain hungry zombie like Michael Jackson, we need to plan our moves carefully. Although he is dead, he still remembers all of his famous dance moves. Michael Jackson’s famous dance moves are notoriously deadly and if you get in the way, you could be moon walked straight to hell in an instant.
We could learn to dance and simply out dance him, thus causing him to explode – but we haven’t got time to take dancing lessons now. To beat up Michael Jackson you need to think like Michael Jackson. I suggest stopping by a day care and heavily panting for several minutes to increase your heart rate to make you feel like Michael Jackson does every time he goes near a day care centre.
To lure Michael to your selected beating spot where you will proceed to beat him into oblivion with precisely timed punches and roundhouse kicks to the skull, we will need some bait. Luckily Michael Jackson loves little boys as much as he did when he was living. Only he seems to have developed a taste for little boys brains instead. Go find yourself a little boy, preferably aged 5 or under (perhaps from a park or local school) and place him in the luring spot.
Michael will smell the child with his inept and highly sensitive children smelling powers from miles and miles away, now get into position behind an old suspicious but not noticeable wooden barrel and wait for him to arrive.
Once he arrives yell: “Hey you, paedophile scum bag brain eating zombie little boy fucker. I’m going to beat you back to hell, to the tune of Billy Jean.” You would have angered him at this point and he will proceed to drop the small boy and head straight for you. Do not look into his eyes, I repeat, DO NOT LOOK INTO HIS EYES. He has the ability to kill you with a simple stare.
Now to beat Michael Jackson up successfully, you will need to get him in his weakspot. His weakspot is his heart, so perfectly timed kicks and punches to the head and chest simeltaneously should do the trick. For this step to be successful it’s probably advisable you learn martial arts by performing a few Google searches.
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motherfucker leave mj alone you cocksucker
motherfucker leave mj alone you cocksucker
melanie get off this blog if you …love… micheal.
because this is funny stuff
he ha haw haw he he ha haw
melanie get off this blog if you …love… micheal.
because this is funny stuff
he ha haw haw he he ha haw
I love him alway! He will alway be in my heart forever and ever! I will nervr ever for get hm!
I love him alway! He will alway be in my heart forever and ever! I will nervr ever for get hm!
Great job! Thanks! Thank you! for a great post.
Great job! Thanks! Thank you! for a great post.