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Kings of Leon Can Kill – Researchers

by Probably Sucks on 02. Dec, 2009 in Satire

To many a Kings of Leon CD appears relatively harmless, but it has been revealed that Kings of Leon is capable of causing severe injury and in most cases death, according to secret tests revealed today.

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Bernard Madoff Finds Love In Jail

by Probably Sucks on 07. Jul, 2009 in Satire

Seventy two year old fraudster Bernard “Jail Bait” Madoff has proven to the rest of the world that you can never be too old to find love, not even in jail.

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Young Boy Claims Michael Jackson's Ghost Molested Him

by Probably Sucks on 06. Jul, 2009 in Satire

A 12 year old boy boy from the United Kingdom is alleging that he was sexually molested by the ghost of Michael Jackson late Wednesday night in his family home.

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Metallica Cover Band Boo'd Off Stage For Playing St. Anger Tracks

by Probably Sucks on 03. Jul, 2009 in Satire

A Metallica cover band that goes by the name ‘Metal Licker’ has been boo’d off stage today after they attempted to play tracks off the Metallica album St. Anger at a free show they decided to put on in their local 7-11 car park.

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Australian Scientist's Have Developed A New Method Of 'Doing Nothing'

by Probably Sucks on 03. Jul, 2009 in Satire

AUSTRALIAN Scientists have developed a new method of ‘doing absolutely nothing’ (a favourite past time of most inhabitants of Australia) – after a drunken gathering on the weekend.

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Blind Orphans, The USA's Secret Weapon Against North Korea

by Probably Sucks on 02. Jul, 2009 in Satire

As tension escalates between North Korea and The United States, The United States have been stealthily developing a new weapon to ensure that America remains unscathed from any possible attacks by Kim Jong-Il’s regiment.

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A Recent Australian Study Finds 3 in 4 People Agree Simple Plan Sucks

by Probably Sucks on 01. Jul, 2009 in Satire

A recent study conducted in the Australian Outback has concluded that 94% of all people surveyed agree that Simple Plan sucks.

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Senator-Stephen-Conroy-Victim-Of-Molestation

Senator Stephen Conroy Reveals He Was Molested By The Internet

by Probably Sucks on 30. Jun, 2009 in Satire

In one of the most startling revelations, Senator Stephen Conroy (Minister for Broadband and Communications of Australia) has revealed that the reason he hates the Internet so much is because he was sexually molested by it a few years ago.

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Scientologists Claim To Be Able To Cure Michael Jackson's Death

by Probably Sucks on 26. Jun, 2009 in Satire

ORANGE COUNTY, CA – A small team of Scientology funded scientists claim to have found a cure for death and have revealed that they would be able to bring Michael Jackson back too life, as well as any other living being that is no longer living any more. In return they’re asking that each person [...]

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Eminem 'Recovery': Official Track Listing

by Probably Sucks on 25. Jun, 2009 in Music & Reviews, Satire

There are a lot of fake track listings going around on the Internet about Eminem’s follow up to Relapse now titled ‘Recovery’ – this is the true track listing, as confirmed by an inside source I have close to the manufacturing process of this album (it is already currently in production for a June release). [...]

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