Archive for the 'Ranting' Category

The Apple iPad Sucks, But It Will Still Be A Success

Published on January 29, 2010 in Opinion and Ranting. 4 Comments

Apple has done it again, created another shitty & feature restricted product everyone will be foaming at the mouth for, the iPad. Every man nerd and his dog girlfriend will be lining up to get one of these things, even if they don’t need one or know what the fuck it does.

The iPad is really just an oversized version of an iPhone or iPod Touch. It can run the same apps, has a touch screen and doesn’t let you multitask on it. Sounds great doesn’t it? You want one already.

I really admire Apple; they could sell most of you a lump of coal and call it iCoal, it wouldn’t do anything, but you’d still want to buy it because Apple would ensure if you didn’t buy one, you’ll be alienating yourself from society. Quite personally I think it’s fucking ugly, I mean do Apple think they’re at a point now where they can create anything and know it’s customers will buy it?

I wonder if it will suffer from overheating issues and perhaps burn some customers, leaving a horrible scar reminding them of the crappy and highly expensive purchase that they didn’t need to make for the rest of their lives. If you’re planning on buying one of these, you’re just another Applesheep following the herd to your nearest Apple store.

The sad thing is millions of people will buy this, then Apple will release a newer version in one years time. Thus causing you to go into a fit of panic as you try and scurry up more cash to buy the new iPad-S

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Fuck You Lil Wayne

Published on December 9, 2009 in Images & Visual Stuff, Opinion and Ranting. 2 Comments

Lil Wayne is not a fucking rapper, end of story. If you think Lil Wayne is the greatest rapper alive, please electrocute yourself. He can’t rap for shit, his voice is irritating and he plays the tough guy persona but probably couldn’t defend himself at an under 13’s boxing match.

Click image to make it bigger

Click image to make it bigger

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Dear Internet, Stop With Damn The Firefox Addon Lists

Published on December 3, 2009 in Ranting. 0 Comments

We get it alright. You love Firefox and found some cool plugins, but wait, you also have a blog? Maybe you should make a top “insert number here” Firefox add-ons for “insert some generic profession, hobby or use here”. You already did you say? GTFO out of the Internet, you are no blogger sir, nor will you ever be by making these pathetic search engine baiting girly lists.

I am a StumbleUpon user and on a daily basis I am subject to maybe 5 or 6, “25 Best Firefox Add-ons For Web Developers and Designers” lists informing me of “must have” add-ons. Lets sum this up and make it clear to you brain-dead bloggers who keep writing these lists, 97% of the people you’re writing these lists for do not care and have already heard of these marvellous extensions because they have been around since forever.

If you’re a web developer or designer, I am going to assume 99.9% of you use Firefox, and know what the good and useful Firefox extensions are. Web developers already know about Firebug and I mean ALL OF THEM, yet you continue to add it to your list like it’s something new and magical that nobody has ever heard of before.

I cannot imagine a conversation like the following ever occurring:

Web developer #1: Hey dude, you heard of Firebug for Firefox? It’s a cool extension that lets you debug, edit and make live code changes to your XHTML, JavaScript and CSS. It has all kinds of other features, including child plugins like PixelPerfect and FirePHP that let you debug your PHP code and overlay web designs on the site you’re working on to make sure it’s perfect.

Web developer #2: Oh, wow! Really? I have never heard of Firefox or any of those things you mentioned before, is it free? Do you think I will like it? I think I must try all of them, they sound so awesome.

Write about something interesting and worthwhile, save the lists for shopping and tasks. Or die in a horrific car accident.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Michael Buble’s Little Cry Baby Tough Girl Alter Ego

Published on December 1, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 8 Comments

Not so long ago Michael Buble (you know the guy who thinks he is God’s gift to women and also thinks that he has an amazing voice) revealed that he is sick of being typecast as a “cheesy crooner”, boo hoo Michael you’re breaking my heart you fucking girl.

Acting like he is the only person that critics give a hard time, he sent out a warning saying that he next person that dares criticise him will end up with a fist in their face, ooh scary. I mean look at the guy, the only thing he could knock out is another notch on his belt after eating a few cheeseburgers on the weekend (if he is lucky).

Let’s sum up Michael Buble

  • He writes cheesy crooner tracks about love, and other things that people think are cheesy
  • He has a bad haircut which makes him look like an army recruit reject
  • He is all talk, every word out of his mouth is just that, words without substance
  • He thinks he is funny, but really he is just another boring crooner trying to impress people in hopes of them buying his boring cheesy music
  • He is from Canada (America’s waste bin), do I really need to say anything more?

He even goes on to say that he is so tough because he played ice hockey while he was growing up, what a man Michael Buble is. I mean forget the tens of thousands of other people grew up playing ice hockey, it didn’t make all those other people tough men like Michael Buble.

Stop acting like you’re so tough, I bet there are a whole lot of people in this world that could knock you straight onto the ground before you even got a punch in (most of them 13 year old kids).

Read the rest of what he was saying here

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Borderlands, A Pathetic Excuse For A Game

Published on November 16, 2009 in Ranting. 28 Comments

I played Borderlands on the weekend, it was the crappiest game I have ever played. It’s like a mixture of Fallout with Wall-E from the Disney movie Wall-E. When I’m tired games usually wake me up, but this game sent me right to sleep, perfect if you’re wanting to sleep on a Saturday night and in your early twenties.

Basically all you do is shoot and do stupid missions; like assemble a stupid robot who seems to experience the feeling of pain. The graphics look good, but where is the fucking game play and decent storyline? Where is the awesome factor? It has nothing. You shoot, kill, pick up loot and weapons. Lather, rinse and repeat.

I would have loved to been at the planning meetings for this game.

“We need a good storyline..”
“How about a cute little robot that helps you at the start, then you do stupid missions and shoot and collect items? I saw Wall-E on the weekend and that robot is so cute, I really think a violent game like this deserves some kind of cute factor”
“Genius! we’ll use the Fallout code-base, change it up a bit and put in a Wall-E like robot”
“Profit, profit, profit!”

Multi-player might be marginally better than single player, but you can only shoot and loot for so long before it gets repetitive and boring. I much prefer Grand Theft Auto 4 which doesn’t get boring so easily and has a little more diversity.

GameSpot actually gave this game an 8.5, what the hell were they smoking when they reviewed this? Probably a lot of weed, I hear it makes things seem a lot funner than they actually are. I think maybe the development and story-writing team were reaching into the same dope bag too.

Play Borderlands if you’re an RPG nerd that likes to be lulled to sleep by overdone gancy graphics and sounds of people dying from animated bullets.

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The Australian Fun Police Strike Again

Published on June 30, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 0 Comments

Australia is quite possibly one of the most stuck up and prudish countries in the world. We are descendants of English heritage, but even people in England people aren’t this stuck up. Australia likes to market itself as a laid back country with a vast amount of opportunities, but the only opportunity you get here is either be killed, beaten and robbed, scrutinised, arrested or fined for some stupid reason.

BMW Loves To Promote It's Cars To Hoons

BMW Loves To Promote It's Cars To Hoons; Who can't afford to even buy a BMW.

Recently Australia’s advertising watchdog banned a BMW TV commercial because it promoted ‘hoon driving‘.

The ad I speak of is where a BMW is driving in a warehouse creating an artwork on the floor with paint, the car is notably spinning it’s wheels and performing all kinds of driving manoeuvres which are deemed illegal. But are people that stupid that they can’t tell the difference between television and reality? Would this advertisement really make someone get into their car and mimic the stunts on the streets? I highly doubt it.

I find it highly ironic that in Australia we allow television advertisements for alcohol to be shown, but not a car advertisement that merely shows a car doing manoeuvres – in a warehouse, quite clearly not on the road.

This honestly is just the icing on the political correctness cake. Australia appears to be showing an apparent transition into communism, could it be Kevin Rudd’s obsession with China is finally rubbing off onto the Australian way of life? First an Internet filter list, no R18+ game rating system and banning a car advertisement which is more like art than promoting dangerous driving.

What’s next; will Top Gear Australia and Top Gear UK be banned because they promote hoon driving with their speeding, illegal driving manoeuvres shown on the television show? Wouldn’t surprise me. And also, since when do hoons drive BMW’s? Not to mention, since when a hoon even open up a can of paint anyway?

Check out the ad here and give your opinion: http://www.bmw.com.au/com/en/newvehicles/z4/z4/2009/introduction.html

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Apple Lied To Everyone, But Nobody Cares

Published on June 28, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 2 Comments

I find it highly ironic that Apple lied to everyone (stockholders, general public) about just why Steve Jobs was taking medical leave for a year. They tried claiming it was a hormone imbalance that made Steve Jobs look like he was the walking dead and suffering from scurvy.

Steve_Jobs_Lied_About_Liver_Transplant

Now it’s been revealed that he had a liver transplant, doesn’t anyone else find that highly suspicious? Why couldn’t Apple tell us he had a liver transplant? It’s a common fact that people who have hormone imbalances DO NOT get their damn livers removed.

Maybe it’s just me being a pretentious prick, but aren’t there laws against withholding information from your stockholders and the public when you’re a fucking publicly traded company? I don’t know. Maybe Apple are exempt from the law because they’re so popular with their minuscule Linux like market share on desktop PC’s. Much sarcasm intended.

I think Apple need to be investigated for what has happened. Everyone was misled and made to believe Steve Jobs just needed some rest and to pop a few pills and he’d be okay eventually. People don’t get organ transplants for no reason, it doesn’t take a doctor to tell you that.

It sure seems as though nobody cares Apple lied. If this were Microsoft, people would be chanting “burn them, burn them!” and holding flaming pitchforks.

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Michael Jackson Died From A Broken Heart: Caused By You

Published on June 26, 2009 in Music & Reviews and Ranting. 21 Comments

Michael Jackson didn’t die of a heart attack as reported, he really died from a broken heart. A broken heart caused by the very fans that turned their backs on him when he was accused of molesting children and his skin turned white. I bet you all feel real bad now for making him the recluse he was before his untimely death.

It’s ironic in a way – the media were the main instigators of Michael Jackson hate and criticism, and soon the people started turning on him, eventually putting him into a pool of debt and causing his illness to worsen.

Sure he had a history of health problems, but what most likely caused those problems was the stress of knowing that he was not liked by many for the person he had become. It’s amazing how many people gave him a hard time for his plastic surgery, sure it looked gross and weird, but is it no different than stars such as Madonna creppingly trying to look younger through surgery?

It’s like people these days simply forgot just how many musical accomplishments Michael Jackson achieved in his career. He was a pioneer, it’s like one day people stopped remembering that and instead focused on bringing the man and his children down. He had children too you know, but most of you were too fixated with brining him down without one bit of respect for his children or the mental effect it would have on him after a prolonged period of time.

I hope those of you who made fun of Michael Jackson, criticised him and sided with so-called victims he supposedly molested when he didn’t, I hope you feel better knowing that you killed him and he isn’t going to be around for you to criticise any more. Maybe you could start some Michael Jackson death jokes if you’re truly that low.

R.I.P Michael Jackson – We’ll always remember you for the good things.

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Michael Moore Needs To Shut His Fat Mouth

Published on June 5, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 5 Comments

I am sick and tired of hearing Michael Moore capitalising on every single possible thing that he can. For someone who’s packing as much weight as a baby elephant, I wonder why he’s so concerned with everyone else’s problems when he obviously has a weight problem. It’s more than a problem, he is his own fucking obesity epidemic.

I find it ironic how Mr. Moore criticises legitimate business in his movie’s with over exaggerated facts he probably pulled off Wikipedia, when the only research he probably does is sit his fat ass at his computer and eat cheeto’s.

michael_moore_sicko

open up your wallets, Michael is hungry...

Michael Moore has thrown his fair share of accusations at the government for using scare tactics on the population, but are Mr. Moore’s so called “documentaries” doing anything differently? A lot of his documentaries are based on unproven facts, here-say, but that doesn’t stop him profiting off everyone’s fear now, does it?

Although I will admit his documentaries are interesting and the whole bullshit factor really does work. I found Sicko compelling and watching Michael Moore catching his breath after only taking two steps in every scene made it that much more entertaining. Watch one of his documentaries and you can see him struggling to move.

I will admit though, he’d be a good companion to have in the event of a terrorist attack. Everyone could climb underneath his many layers of fat and be shielded from even the biggest and heaviest bits of shrapnel. In the event of a meteor striking Earth, there’d be no need to panic, due to Michael Moore’s obese body bouncing it right back into space.

Every time he opens his mouth, besides scraps of food flying from his mouth and large amounts of bullshit spraying all over the place – all he ever does is criticise everyone else, but himself as pointed out earlier. I’d love to see a documentary on Michael Moore myself, it’d be interesting seeing how one obese man has managed to reverse engineer government manipulation tactics for his own financial gain.

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Media Kicking Mathhew Johns When He’s Down, Again

Published on May 28, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 1 Comment

You probably heard about the Matthew Johns sex scandal that happened in New Zealand in 2004 and how he got a pretty severe grilling over it even though it was a group sex activity up to 6 or 7 other players were involved in.

Well the media is at it again, drilling Matthew Johns once more for something beyond his control most likely. In a skit aired on the NRL Footy Show May 7th, Matthew Johns is seen dressed up as Elton John pretending to be a brother of Matthew and Andrew John’s.

matthew-johns-ex-cronulla-sharks-football-player

Although the skit wasn’t in bad taste, it could have been worse, the media is grilling Matthew Johns for the incident even though he was most likely just a willing participant in something the shows producers came up with.

So why the fuck is he being grilled over this and not the shows producers? Since when did Australia become so politically fucking correct anyway? We’re not communist China here, when did free speech start to become so wrong? In true Australian style, the media is showing that it loves to pick targets and kick them when they’re down with anything.

This is typical of when Australian media took every single Qantas problem from a blocked toilet to not so perfect runway landing and used it against the company. It’s how Australian media operate, bullying tactics ahoy.

Yet media love to praise idiots for doing stupid things. Corey for throwing a big house party and now that stupid Clare girl, you don’t see the media picking on them, do you?

Source: http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25550024-10229,00.html

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