40 Reasons Australians Suck

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40 Reasons Australians Suck

22 October 2008 35 views 16 Comments

Just for clarification I am Australian, so don’t assume I’m some yank.

We complain about it not raining enough, and then when it rains, we complain it’s raining too much.
We exceed the US and New Zealand in deaths from driving for work (truck drivers, etc).
We call the English whiners, yet get upset when our favourite football team loses.
A majority of the Australian population is comprised of bogans and drunks.
We vote, elect, re elect and then elect again for the same prime minister who repeatedly cut the funding budget, introduced the GST (government services tax) when he promised he wouldn’t, he cut back on education spending and became George Bushes bitch.
Aboriginal people claim to own our country. They refuse to work. They sniff paint and petrol. They don’t want jobs even when they’re given one. They’re always drunk off their faces.
We made our own type of football that is completely crap, called Aussie Rules. It’s like one day some Australian’s woke up and said lets create a game only Australian people can play.
We are always in competition with the English, even though we are migrants from England.
Kyle Sandilands is Australian, say no more.
Schapelle Corby, an Australian drug smuggler who got caught in Indonesia and denied the whole thing. Even though the evidence pointed to her being responsible.
An Australian band by the name of Jet, ripped off Iggy Pop and The Who.
Even Australian celebrities give their babies stupid names.
Rove McManus an Australian comedian that a lot of drunk Australian people find funny, when he really isn’t funny at all.
We put Vegemite on everything.
We eat all animals that are on our coat of arms.
We barbecue everything we possibly can, and when we can’t barbecue it, we barbecue it anyway.
Hillsong Church
Kids in our public and private schools start fights, record them on mobile phones and then upload the videos to Youtube.
We are the fattest nation in the world -
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24531342-1242,00.html
Most Australians actually like watching reality TV shows - shows like this one called Dumped
We charge double for computer games, compared to America.
Corey Worthington - http://www.news.com.au/feature/ranked/0,,5015729,00.html
We’re responsible for The Veronicas.
Australians are possessed by demons -
http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23223768-3102,00.html
Our idea of pride is beating up the Lebanese, Muslims and other people of ethnic races.
Most Australians think Bundaberg rum is the best rum you can buy.
We slur our words, even when we’re sober.
We complain about paying $1.45AUD per litre for fuel, yet Australian police just invested in modified patrol hummers.
We give our infants alcohol -
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24535643-29277,00.html
We let tourists repeatedly drown at our beaches, even though they swim between the flags which are patrolled - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24535878-29277,00.html
We complain our dams are running out of water, yet continue to waste it.
We idolise wankers and nobodies -
Peter Brock (A well known wife-beater and race car driver who crashed into a tree and died, after a stingray cut his brakes).
Steve Irwin (A well known Australian wildlife rapist who had sex with snakes, venomous spiders and other assorted forms of wildlife repeatedly, and then died when he lost in an arm wrestling match against a stingray).
Russell Crowe calls Australia home, and even owns an Australian football team that can’t a game.
We let Bindi Irwin be born, and now continually let this little Australian girl dumb our nations image down into the ground even further than her father did.
We watched eight seasons of the reality TV show Big Brother.
When we win something, we have a party about it. When we lose something, we complain, whinge and make excuses why we lost.
We invented the wine cask as a means to carry around our wine and drink it easier, a favourite amongst alcoholic aboriginals.
We condone the drowning of illegal immigrants.
A majority of Australians believe beating up an immigrant whilst wrapped in an Australian flag is pride.
Our idea of a vacation is going to Queensland for a holiday.

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16 Comments »

wlwarriorsuzie (Who am I?) said:

How dare you put Bindi down and her Dad and Peter Brock did you know any of them??? NO You know what your 1 one one your list

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# 22 October 2008 at 6:21 pm

Justin Wright (Who am I?) said:

“We put Vegemite on everything.”

Hmm…if only I knew what that even is. I put ketchup on everything, does that count?

Justin Wrights last blog post..Introducing My New Series

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# 22 October 2008 at 7:44 pm

Dwayne (Who am I?) (author) said:

Originally Posted By wlwarriorsuzie
How dare you put Bindi down and her Dad and Peter Brock did you know any of them??? NO You know what your 1 one one your list

I actually knew both of them. Peter was exceptionally funny when he was drunk, his wife thought otherwise though when he was beating her.

Steve was a funny guy, he used to always tell me that one day he’d fight a stingray, I didn’t believe him until he lost an arm wrestling match against a stingray.

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# 22 October 2008 at 7:59 pm

Mike (Who am I?) said:

I heard that vegemite is really nasty. I want to try it!

Mikes last blog post..Paul McCartney Wax Head Is Missing

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# 22 October 2008 at 8:09 pm

njeppo (Who am I?) said:

sometimes sarcasm hurts… really!

i’d agree with everything (not knowing anything particular ’bout Australians), but No. 6…

if it comes to ethnic minorities who have been betrayed and nearly wiped out by the british colonialists and whose babies have been stolen by the australian government in the 70’s, than i’d think this is not one of the most funniest reasons why australians suck, but a sad one…

njeppos last blog post..40 Reasons Australians Suck

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# 22 October 2008 at 10:13 pm

Janet (Who am I?) said:

@Dwayne -
Yeah Dwayne…How DARE you insult Bindi! HAHAHA!
Janets last blog post..A Cross Section of the Typical Office Staff

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# 23 October 2008 at 1:36 am

Janet (Who am I?) said:

What’s vegemite? Do Australians use it like Europeans use Nutella? LOL

Janets last blog post..A Cross Section of the Typical Office Staff

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# 23 October 2008 at 4:43 am

Dwayne (Who am I?) (author) said:

Originally Posted By Janet
@Dwayne -
Yeah Dwayne…How DARE you insult Bindi! HAHAHA!

Janets last blog post..A Cross Section of the Typical Office Staff

Ahh, it’s the Bindi patrol!

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# 23 October 2008 at 9:00 am

Dwayne (Who am I?) (author) said:

Originally Posted By Janet
What’s vegemite? Do Australians use it like Europeans use Nutella? LOL

Janets last blog post..A Cross Section of the Typical Office Staff

Pretty much. It’s a table spread made of yeast. Most notably, left over brewers yeast from brewery’s.

Hows that for you all, Vegemite is made from the left over stuff from beer production, haha.

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# 23 October 2008 at 9:01 am

Dwayne (Who am I?) (author) said:

Originally Posted By Mike
I heard that vegemite is really nasty. I want to try it!

Mikes last blog post..Paul McCartney Wax Head Is Missing

I’m actually quite fond of it. But yet again, I am Australian

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# 23 October 2008 at 9:01 am

Neville Wright (Who am I?) said:

I think Dwayne must come from another country. If he thinks Australians suck, maybe he should go and live in a 3rd world country on the same income as the locals.

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# 30 October 2008 at 7:20 am

Dwayne (Who am I?) (author) said:

@Neville Wright -

I live in Australia, Brisbane in fact. Not so far away from the beloved, just joking, drug smuggler Schapelle Corby.

Third world country as in Ethiopia? No thanks.

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# 30 October 2008 at 10:29 am

bigmagilla (Who am I?) said:

@Janet -
With looks like that and those glasses (yum) its a wonder you havnt been hot with 101 nutella jokes … in answwr to ur ?… yes

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# 17 November 2008 at 4:43 pm

bigmagilla (Who am I?) said:

u suck, big time!

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# 17 November 2008 at 4:45 pm

Aussie Bob (Who am I?) said:

One reason why you suck wayne: you know absolutely nothing about Australia beyond what you’ve seen in tabloid news and/or have heard from dumb ass mates!! Other than that you’re probably a decent, well meaning, uneducated bloke - good luck to you.

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# 19 November 2008 at 12:00 pm

Dwayne (Who am I?) (author) said:

Originally Posted By Aussie Bob
One reason why you suck wayne: you know absolutely nothing about Australia beyond what you’ve seen in tabloid news and/or have heard from dumb ass mates!! Other than that you’re probably a decent, well meaning, uneducated bloke - good luck to you.

Aussie Bob. I think you’re the uneducated one here. In case you can’t read, which is quite obvious you can’t. I actually said I am from Australia. As in I was born in Australia, been here my whole life etc.

If I was uneducated how is it possible I have my own blog then? And many other websites…

Aussie Bob - Go back to what you know: drinking, driving, smoking and collecting your centrelink payments.

By the way, what’s with the excessive exclamation marks? Is one of them not enough Bob?

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# 19 November 2008 at 12:30 pm