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Archive | June, 2009

Eminem 'Recovery': Official Track Listing

by Probably Sucks on 25. Jun, 2009 in Music & Reviews, Satire

There are a lot of fake track listings going around on the Internet about Eminem’s follow up to Relapse now titled ‘Recovery’ – this is the true track listing, as confirmed by an inside source I have close to the manufacturing process of this album (it is already currently in production for a June release). [...]

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NASA Reveals A Huge Chunk of The Moon Is Heading For Earth

by Probably Sucks on 25. Jun, 2009 in Satire

In what can only be described as curiosity gone wrong – NASA have revealed that their experiment to detect water on the moon has gone horribly wrong after a huge chunk of the moon itself broke loose from the impact and is heading for the Earth’s atmosphere. It might be here within days if attempts [...]

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A New Possible Pandemic Emerges, Twitter Flu

by Probably Sucks on 25. Jun, 2009 in Satire

A new strain of deadly flu being dubbed as Twitter Flu is believed to have spread to over 25 countries in only a matter of hours since being discovered late yesterday evening by Jack Dorsey, creator of Twitter. Twitter Flu is believed to be a deadly combination of Twitteritis and Cyber Flu making it capable [...]

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Why Legalising Marijuana Is A Stupid Idea

by Probably Sucks on 25. Jun, 2009 in Opinion

The discussion of legalising marijuana seems to have become hot topic again in the last couple of years. I think it’s stupid and juvenille people actually want to legitimately legalise marijuana. Would you feel safe knowing your kids were catching a bus driven by a bus driver who likes to smoke marijuana? Would you feel [...]

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Oprah Winfrey Warns People Against Her Will Get Cancer

by Probably Sucks on 24. Jun, 2009 in Satire

Oprah Winfrey one of the most powerful television show celebrities and woman in Hollywood to date has hit back at people who claim she has too much power. Oprah has threatened that anyone who goes against her will die of cancer and feel the true wrath of her power. “I am a very rich and [...]

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Steve Jobs Announces He Had Transgender Surgery

by Probably Sucks on 24. Jun, 2009 in Satire

In a shocking email sent internally to Apple staff Steve Jobs admits that while on medical leave he underwent surgery so he could achieve his life long dream of becoming transgender. The content of the email Steve Jobs sent to Apple staff pretty much sums everything up: Dear my fellow Apple staffers,I have something important [...]

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It Dies Today – Lividity Album Review

by Probably Sucks on 23. Jun, 2009 in Music & Reviews

Metalcore is a dying genre sadly and it takes more than talent to stand out in the flood of metalcore bands, It Dies Today do just that. Formed in 2001, this band seems to be taking all the right steps to cement their name into the metalcore genre. Nick Brooks the old vocalist of It [...]

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Husband Beating Is On The Rise In Australia

by Probably Sucks on 22. Jun, 2009 in Opinion

Oh, irony, it strikes at the best of times. Apparently husband beating is on the rise in Australia, as more and more men are reporting getting a beating from their wife. I thought Australian men were supposed to be tough macho hunting men who would never let a female walk all over them, looks like [...]

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There's Something Wrong With Religion

by Probably Sucks on 19. Jun, 2009 in Opinion

Quite to the contrary religion does more to damage humanity than it does to save it. The primary goal of religion is not to help convince people to believe in a god, it is to brainwash people into believing anything that comes out of their mouths. Christianity is the biggest lie ever conceived by man, [...]

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Marilyn Manson – High End of The Low Album Review

by Probably Sucks on 15. Jun, 2009 in Music & Reviews

What do you get when you take a narcissistic child molesting fetish loving Satan worshipper and eighties music? You get Marilyn Manson’s latest album The High End of The Low. Which coincidentally sounds like an 80′s clone album. Hmm. It seems like the once idolised shock rocker is losing his shine. He’s perhaps realising that [...]

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