Monthly Archive for May, 2009

Microsoft Bing Might Actually Be Good

Published on May 29, 2009 in Web Services. 15 Comments

Microsoft is planning to relaunch it’s failed Live search as Bing in June 2009 and first impressions from the promotional video are it looks pretty good.

BILL GATES

Naturally and without fail the Linux and Apple community is already saying that Bing will suck. But of course those kind of comments are said about every single Microsoft product by these people who smell of red bull, body odour and cheeto’s.

Unlike features available in Google 9at the time of writing), Microsoft seems to have implemented a stack load of actual useful features into Bing. Ability to view reviews without leaving the search engine. Ability to display results based on type “reviews”, “local”, “shopping” and a few others are welcomed auditions.

It’s easy for people to proclaim it won’t be any more successful than live.com, but I think that’s the mentality. The natural feeling is to hate everything Microsoft creates before it’s even released and without even properly giving it a go.

Most people that use Google only use it because it’s the trendy thing to do. The term “Google It” which is widely used in modern culture shows just how powerful Google is. While it won’t be an easy task for a new search engine to take away Google market share, Google still have the advantage of all that information.

I don’t have much of a hope for up-to-date results like Google or Yahoo! but if it’s got a new engine and Microsoft are finally indexing more sites more frequently they might have a chance.

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Why We Should Just Blow Up North Korea Now

Published on May 29, 2009 in Opinion. 2 Comments

A small man making big threats, there’s trouble a brewing in North Korea. Often regarded by Probably Sucks as the herpes infested inbred sister of China, North Korea has never been a country to take your holiday snaps in or even travel to unless you want to be executed for some political reason.

Ahh! we're all going to die!!

Ahh! we're all going to die!!

2009 is off to a great start. Swine Flu and now North Korea scaremongering, does anyone else find this highly strange that both are occurring around the same time? I’ll leave it up to you nerds to write up the conspiracy theories and scare monger.

Why the fuck are we taking this? Why don’t we just get a few countries together and blow North Korea the fuck up. I mean nuclear bomb testing, abandoning a treaty, missile lobbing and making threats against South Korea – shouldn’t alarm bells be ringing somewhere?

North Korea restarted their nuclear processing abilities and I think that’s a sign it’s time to blow them into oblivion. Nobody will miss North Korea and I think killing some innocent civilians wouldn’t be so bad. I mean the country is dirt poor and when the innocents are dead, they’ll thank us for freeing them. I think the good will outweigh the bad in the end.

Maybe they’ll arm warheads with swine flu, bird flu and  SARS. That would give media outlets globally at least six months worth of news to write about. Ahhhhh! we’re all going to die.

Although North Korea are child molesting pussies and King Jong-il is too gutless to do anything – I think we should still just blow them up. North Korea have done nothing for the world except make everyone angry, give China a bad name and look stupid. Team America: World Police suddenly seems relevant now, scary.

This is not the apocalypse you religious nutso’s. North Korea and Swine Flu were not predicted in the bible, it’s a shame, a lie and if you believe that religion is relevant in this instance, you’re mistaken. The only reason religion is so accurate with war prediction sometimes is because IT IS the cause of most wars.

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Media Kicking Mathhew Johns When He’s Down, Again

Published on May 28, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 1 Comment

You probably heard about the Matthew Johns sex scandal that happened in New Zealand in 2004 and how he got a pretty severe grilling over it even though it was a group sex activity up to 6 or 7 other players were involved in.

Well the media is at it again, drilling Matthew Johns once more for something beyond his control most likely. In a skit aired on the NRL Footy Show May 7th, Matthew Johns is seen dressed up as Elton John pretending to be a brother of Matthew and Andrew John’s.

matthew-johns-ex-cronulla-sharks-football-player

Although the skit wasn’t in bad taste, it could have been worse, the media is grilling Matthew Johns for the incident even though he was most likely just a willing participant in something the shows producers came up with.

So why the fuck is he being grilled over this and not the shows producers? Since when did Australia become so politically fucking correct anyway? We’re not communist China here, when did free speech start to become so wrong? In true Australian style, the media is showing that it loves to pick targets and kick them when they’re down with anything.

This is typical of when Australian media took every single Qantas problem from a blocked toilet to not so perfect runway landing and used it against the company. It’s how Australian media operate, bullying tactics ahoy.

Yet media love to praise idiots for doing stupid things. Corey for throwing a big house party and now that stupid Clare girl, you don’t see the media picking on them, do you?

Source: http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25550024-10229,00.html

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How To Beat Up Robert Pattinson

Published on May 28, 2009 in How To Guides. 15 Comments

Robert Pattinson is a vampire that plays teenage vampire characters in movies and books, most notably his only role as a vampire in the movie Twilight. Vampires are thought to be immortal creatures who can be killed by sunlight exposure, a cross or garlic.

robert_pattinson

This is the guy your daughter dreams about

Robert Pattinson is not your average run of the mill kind of vampire. He can go into the sun, but he will twinkle like he spent his weekend at the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras covered in fairy dust. He can also eat garlic, of which many other vampires claim is impossible and that Robert Pattinson is a fraud.

So how do you beat up Robert Pattinson without using conventional vampire beating tactics? His love for young under age girls is Robert Pattinson’s weakness. Known for his prowess and ability to brainwash little girls into thinking he has style and talent, he is a strong match that will require a sharp mind to take down.

You’re probably thinking, “why don’t you just dress up as an under age girl wanting Robert Pattinson’s autograph and then drive a 15″ wooden stake through his chest when you get close to him?”. Robert Pattinson is always on guard, with lightning fast reflexes, it is said that not even Chuck Norris could lay a hand on Robert Pattinson without being bitten. It is to be noted that Chuck Norris abused Robert Pattinson as a child before he became a vampire idol.

Robert Pattinson can read minds as well. But his power is limited to only reading minds of people with weird sexual fetishes of cats, and large amounts of money.

We could poison him, but we want to fight him like a man, so that’s out of the question. Luring Robert Pattinson into a field of bear traps carefully placed 6 degree’s north west from each other should be sufficient in slowing him down. After he has been slowed down by the bear traps, we will then proceed to trap him in an iron cage with 6 Mexicans.

After being in the cage with the 6 Mexican’s for precisely 2.35 hours (no more, no less) – Robert Pattinson’s body would have become a Swine Flu breeding ground and he will then proceed to get sick and die. Yes, I know vampires can’t get sick, but Robert Pattinson decided that he wasn’t a conventional anti-sunlight kind of vampire, so this will work.

Remember kids: If you see Robert Pattinson out and about eating your friends and family, simply get some bear traps and some Mexican’s and you’ll be safe to walk the streets another day.

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Just Let Schapelle “Drug Smuggler” Corby Rot In Her Jail Cell

Published on May 28, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 11 Comments

Schapelle Corby the convicted Australian drug trafficker spending 20 years (15 left) in an Indonesian jail cell is once again in the news. Apparently she’s having a psychotic breakdown and is depressed, boo hoo. Maybe YOU shouldn’t have trafficked drugs into an ANTI-DRUG country in the first place you stupid bitch.

Since when do we take pity on drug dealers and traffickers anyway? Oh, is it because she is an Australian and that she could never do anything like that? She’s just a young girl, right…? Please. The drug dealers of today are people like Schapelle, stupid, naive and will do anything when someone waves wads of cash in front of their drug fucked faces.

Why should Australia bend over backwards to make Indonesia change the rules and completely disregard their judiciary system in favour of Schapelle? Australia has no right to give special attention nor remove her from the Indonesian jail cell she’s rotting in, because that would be an insult to Indonesia’s system which obviously works.

The reason Australia continues to breed scum like Schapelle Corby is because our laws are loose over here. You get caught with a bag of 4kg of marijuana and the police will probably let you off with a warning and then go sell it somewhere for cash in the pocket.

That’s the problem with Australia, the government spends millions on anti-marijuana and drug campaigns, yet the laws are so loose they’re kind of redundant and a waste of tax payer money.

There will always be someone stupid enough to try and bypass Indonesian drug laws, only to find themselves being killed or spending decades in a filthy roach ridden and disease infested cell.

Schapelle Corby only has herself to blame for the situation she is in and her health She will forever be a stain on Australia’s history for decades to come, and I hope she learns her lesson. Stop taking pity on this girl, it’s what she wants YOU to do.

Think to yourself, would you be as forgiving and push for her release if you found out that she sold marijuana to YOUR kids?

You get what you pay for Schapelle, and you’re paying the full price. No discounts for you, stupid drug fucked slut. Oh, and Schapelle, just kill yourself, you’ll be doing us ALL a favour if you did that.

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Sol Trujillo or Mr Potato Head, Both Mexican Fools

Published on May 27, 2009 in Opinion. 0 Comments

To those who don’t know who Sol Trujillo is, a few words can sum him up for you. An egotistical and dirty Swine Flu spreading American-Mexican who was the CEO of Australia’s largest telecommunications company Telstra, before running it into the ground and leaving the country.

sol-potato-head-comparison

Image copyright © Probablysucks.com 2009

It is believed that the character Mr. Potato Head was based entirely on Sol Trujillo including his prominent moustache in which he breeds Swine Flu.

Much like Mr. Potato Head, Sol Trujillo is as silly as they come. Known for his hot temper and hot fevers caused in small children as a result of infecting them with his Swine Flu, he left Australia on May 19, 2009 with his family after accomplishing his mission of running Telstra into the ground, collecting $31,000,000AUD and infecting public figures including Kevin Rudd with Swine Flu.

Mr. Potato Head and Sol Trujillo resemble each other so well. One of the best closely guarded secrets second to KFC 11 herbs and spices is that Mr. Potato Head is based on Sol Trujillo.

Sol Trujillo has returned to the United States where he hopes to run another telecommunications company into the ground (hopefully). When he isn’t running companies into the ground, he likes to play golf, bath in his millions, get drunk on Tequila or Corona and abuse his wife and children, as well as occasionally sodomising himself with bars of gold.

PS. Now you can call Australia racist, Sol. You dirty fucking Swine Flu carrying diseased Mexican. Adios.

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Public Transport Social Experiment – Busdriver Courtesy

Published on May 26, 2009 in Experiments. 2 Comments

This is the first of hopefully a few public transport social experiments I aim to undertake to get an insight into just how good and bad public transport is here in Australia, more precisely Brisbane, Queensland.

brisbane-bus

I had the privilege of being on a bus where the driver was cheery, talkative and very friendly to everyone on the bus. He would tell everyone who departed the bus to have a good evening, good night and to take care. This got me thinking.

I started writing down on my iPod just how many people responded with something equally nice as the bus driver wished them a good evening. I was honestly surprised of the results, kind of shocked actually.

It’s to be noted I didn’t start writing down results until the bus was half way into it’s journey, so this is a rough approximation.

Until my stop, 17 people hoped off the bus and I recorded whether they said something to the bus driver equally nice or just didn’t say anything.

Person #1 – Responded
Person #2 – Didn’t respond
Person #3 – Didn’t respond
Person #4 – Didn’t respond
Person #5 – Didn’t respond
Person #6 – Didn’t respond
Person #7 – Responded
Person #8 – Didn’t respond
Person #9 – Didn’t respond
Person #10 – Didn’t respond
Person #11 – Didn’t respond
Person #12 – Responded
Person #13 – Didn’t respond
Person #14 – Responded
Person #15 – Responded
Person #16 – Responded
Person #17 – Responded

Only 7 people actually bothered responding to the bus drivers courtesy out of 17 people! Which is pretty bad. How hard is it to say thank you to the bus driver when you’re leaving anyway? It’s not.

I think courtesy and appreciation is starting to dissipate from society. Stay tuned for another Public Transport Social Experiment sometime shortly.

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eBay Isn’t Dead, Idiots

Published on May 26, 2009 in Opinion and Web Services. 2 Comments

I’ve read a few articles suggesting that the “fun” of eBay is gone, and that other sites like Youtube, Craigslist and even MySpace are to blame for this, what a bunch of idiots.

ebay_logo

Sure to a certain extent you could say that people are using Youtube more than eBay daily, maybe because Youtube is more interactive with funny videos, music and more. But eBay is just a one purpose website. So how does the correlation between eBay and any of these sites even make sense? It doesn’t. It’s all traffic relevance only, not purpose relevance.

eBay is far from dead, it serves it’s purpose quite well. Although I don’t find myself using it twice daily or even to kill time at work – I still go to it first before any other site when I want to buy something like a used or new iPod or laptop. eBay is still a site where you can get cheap bargains.

Ebay.com has an Alexa Traffic Rank of 21 which still indicates that it has strong web presence – even though Alexa is only an approximation of traffic the site is getting, so it’s theoretically doing well still in my opinion.

eBay might be losing traffic, but it has a niche and I think eBay will rise and reinvent itself sometime in 2010 when it will become more widely used and relevant again.

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Jailbreak Your iPod Touch 2G With One Click

Published on May 18, 2009 in Hardware & Hacking. 1 Comment

I recently upgraded to an iPod Touch 2G and wanted to jailbreak it. I found lots of sites saying you could do it through typing commands into a command line, and although I’m pretty technologically inept, I wanted a solution where as little human error was possible. Then I found Redsn0w.

Redsn0w is an executable file that doesn’t require any other plugins or custom drivers to jailbreak your iPod Touch 2G. My version by the way is 2.2.1 (the latest at the time of writing this post), although the jailbreak method will work with 3.0 coming out anyway.

All I had to do was put my iPod Touch 2G into DFU mode and then run the executable file and it did it’s thing. It took a couple of minutes and it was jailbroken complete with Cydia installed onto your iPod Touch 2G.

I was surprised at the ease of jailbreaking my iPod Touch 2G as opposed to typing into some daunting command line and fucking something up (even though jailbreaking is potentially safe anyway).

If you’re interested in jailbreaking your iPod Touch 2G, here is the link which helped me jailbreak my iPod Touch 2G.

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Apple Is Out Of Control

Published on May 18, 2009 in Opinion and Ranting. 1 Comment

I’m a PC and Apple fan. I think the PC has it’s uses just as much as any Mac based computer, but when it comes to Apple and it’s electronics, I’m not so convinced Apple love it’s customers as much as they say they do.

Steve Jobs Announces Another Bank Breaker At Macworld

Steve Jobs needs more money

I recently upgraded to a iPod Touch 2G and soon found out that an update (3.0) is coming sometime soonish in June or July 2009, whatever. The remarkable thing is that Apple are going to charge iPod Touch users $10 to upgrade, fucking awesome. But did I mention that iPhone users get the update for free? Oh, I just did.

As If selling my kidney to purchase the thing wasn’t enough, now they want more money just so I can get a few improvements and bluetooth functionality which by the way was already included in the thing. Yet again, awesome.

I think Apple is out of control. It’s like selling a mobile phone and making people pay for additional features like SMS, MMS, Wi-Fi that competitors already give you out of the box.

Sure Apple makes awesome looking and functional products, but what the fuck are they doing? Although it’s plausible that software was still being developed to make bluetooth functionality work well, why the price tag for iPod Touch users and not iPhone users? Oh, is it because I didn’t pay the extra few hundred for an iPhone with features that I don’t need?

I am going to pay for the upgrade, but not without a rant about it on this blog. When you think about it, you’re really paying for bluetooth functionality for $10. I’m not surprised really, Apple loves to profit off people even in a severe economic downturn. There better be some awesome applications that use bluetooth (if Apple haven’t severely blocked it’s use) or I’ll go postal, seriously.

A thought: It would be awesome to tether my 3G mobile phone to my iPod Touch 2G via bluetooth instead of Wi-Fi, would be very useful considering my phone doesn’t have Wi-Fi.

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