Steve Jobs Dead Jokes

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Probably Sucks

Steve Jobs is dead. Get over it you cry babies. Here are some jokes about Steve Jobs’ death.

How many Steve Jobs’ does it take to sync an iPhone?
None. He’s dead.

Did you hear about the iPhone 4S? It was so disappointing Steve Jobs died the day after it was announced.

Steve Jobs was rumoured to be working on a revolutionary new product right before he died, it was going to be called iDead and it’s just been released.

How many Steve Jobs’ does it take to change a light-bulb?
Zero because he’s dead.

What’s the difference between Steve Jobs and Michael Jackson?
Nothing. They’re both dead.

What’s the difference between Steve Jobs and a car battery?
A car battery isn’t a vegan.

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LMFAO: GTFO Off The Radio

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Probably Sucks

If there is one group in this world that I hate as much as Nickelback, it’s LMFAO. They are one of the worse musical groups and probably the result of Nickelback inbreeding with their sisters. All of their songs are about “party rocking” as they put it and lets face it, one of the guys has an afro and wears glasses. As Albert Einstein once wisely said, “Nobody parties with a four eyes, it’s just how things go.”

The real issue here is that they’re always on the radio. If the radio stations aren’t playing Rihanna they’re playing LMFAO. And while it might sound like I’m jealous I can hardly see what being jealous of a four-eyes and a cradle snatcher really achieves except maybe making your own life look really horrible

On the rare occasion that LMFAO read this: please for the love of whatever, stop making horrible electronic noise the radio is not a nightclub.

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John Lennon’s 70th Birthday, Seriously Who Cares?

Posted on October 9, 2010 by Probably Sucks

Everyone is making a big deal about it being John Lennon’s 70th birthday, even Google made a logo that displays a John Lennon inspired Youtube video of ink drawings when you click on it. Oh, and also in-case you didn’t know John Lennon has been dead for 30 years now, it’s time to move on.

I mean come on, he was in The Beatles, it’s not like he did anything great for humanity. He wrote that Imagine song which isn’t even that good, you can’t go anywhere these days without hearing some drunk school drop-outs singing it through a karaoke machine. What did John Lennon actually do?

Last time I checked thousands of troops are still in Iraq, Nickelback are planning on releasing a new album next month, he did nothing and we’re celebrating his birthday like he’s Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris has done more for humanity than John Lennon could ever dream of accomplishing in the miserable mop haircut wearing days he was around.

John Lennon’s death has caused nothing but annoyance and increased the sales of Beatles music. I bet the people who own the rights to all of The Beatles songs are making cha-ching noises as we speak. “All of this publicity for John Lennon is going to sell a whole heap more remastered Beatles CD’s, I might be able to get myself another Ferrari.”

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Justin Bieber: Proof The Internet Sucks and People Have No Taste In Music or Idols

Posted on April 29, 2010 by

KILL HIM WITH FIRE!!! AHHHH!!!! DIE!! IT'S NOT DYING! MORE FIRE!

Everyone has heard of Justin Bieber. He got famous because he had some videos of himself on Youtube singing and looking like a nerd and Usher just so happened to be looking for naive juvenile children at the time to take advantage of and make large amounts of profits to buy drugs with.

He has been a trending topic on Twitter for ages now. Is this proof that Twitter consists mainly of 14 year old girls with bad taste? I think so. I am sick of hearing about Justin Bieber – if I ran into Justin Bieber on the street I would make sure he couldn’t sing again using only a metal coat-hanger and some shoestring. The guy fucking sucks and people like him are the exact reason this shitty, cynical and downright mean blog was created.

There are musicians out there struggling to make money, struggling to eat, struggling to live and some 16 year old rich white boy comes along and thinks he is the worlds greatest superstar. It’s a shame that it won’t be at least another few years until he becomes a washed up pop singer and starts hitting the bottle and develops a nasty sleeping pill habit which will end him or put him into rehab and revive his career, only for him to relapse and get caught drink / drug driving and kill innocent children at a kindergarten.

Justin Bieber, you just made yourself a powerful enemy. I and the cynical, sad and downright lowlife scum that comment this site will bring you down one way or another. Let the Justin Bieber hate campaigns begin. Since when do rich little white boys from Canada become singing pop star sensations?

Oh – and those of you will no doubt post, “UR JUS LIEK SOOO JELUS OF HOW HAWT HE IZQ!!!! OMG JUSTINNN” I’m not jealous. What is there to be jealous about; his crappy voice, his girly face, his girly stupid emo wannabe haircut that makes him look like an Italian con artist? If anything, he should be jealous of me. Wanna know why? Because I’m not him.

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A Fix For The Large sIFR Text Bug In Internet Explorer

Posted on April 7, 2010 by

If you use sIFR you may have come across the rare bug where your text (say for example on a heading) appears to be abnormally large – but you are using the same class in other parts of the same page and that text looks fine.

I’m not sure why, but sIFR seems to miscalculate the text size sometimes even if it has been used elsewhere on the same page with no trouble and can cause text to look huge.

Simply put the follow line of HTML above the offending element and it will fix the issue:
<br clear=”both” />

I am not sure how or why this fixes the problem, but it does.

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… And News Corp Is Expecting Us To Pay For "Quality" News

Posted on March 24, 2010 by

Looks like some journalists have a sense of humour with the following news title, or perhaps they are so deluded due to what News Corp put into the water supply at their headquarters that they thought it was a serious title.

Apparently Australian Treasurer, Wayne Swan took a dump on the large bank Westpac. A pretty sick thing to do in my opinion, even I would think twice before dumping on a bank.

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Stop Using Photoshop For Web Design You Idiots

Posted on March 17, 2010 by

Yeah, you heard me, if you use Photoshop to design a website you are a complete idiot. Not just any idiot, but so idiotic that you shame and give other idiots who still manage to have more sense than you do a bad name.

Let’s get this straight. Photoshop (PHOTO SHOP) is for art work & editing images, ones you most likely took of your neighbour getting dressed through your basement window because you’ve never been with a real person before nor seen one up close. It has lots of tools to edit PHOTOS not design websites, of which it can, but it is quite complicated to design a site in Photoshop.

Ever try laying out forms and buttons in Photoshop? Compare that same task to Fireworks which has an in-built asset library that lets you drag and drop in already designed editable elements such as buttons, sliders and dropdown select boxes plus a whole lot more. Not to mention Fireworks is created for mocking up web designs and interfaces quickly.

Photoshop is like having sex with a disabled person, they don’t do much and to get them to do what you want them to, it is going to take a lot of work to achieve that end result.

The funny thing is that a majority of web designers (if you can even call them that) are still using Photoshop to design websites. These “designers” are so stupid that they’ve convinced themselves that Photoshop is the best tool for the job, fucking close minded sheep afraid to step out of line and use the forbidden tool that real web designers have been using for years, Fireworks.

Fireworks allows you to have pages, which means you can design a homepage for example and then clone it as another page, and change it as you need to. What does Photoshop have? Fucking layers that most designers are too fucking stupid and inconsiderate to even name half the time, let alone group them for you.

Photoshop makes web design complicated, less fluid and more time consuming. I got to a point not long ago where I was working on a site which was a 70mb PSD file and I ended up opening it up in Fireworks (thank God Fireworks lets you do that) because Photoshop was making the process so difficult I felt like throwing my computer against a brick wall.

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I Hope My Bug Report Was Detailed Enough

Posted on March 8, 2010 by

If you click the above image, you can view a more readable and better quality version of it.

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Australian Schoolyard Bullying Is A Fucking Joke

Posted on March 4, 2010 by

Bullying seems to be on the rise in Australian schools, kids as young as 12 and 13 are stabbing one another and victimising other students. It’s obvious there is no solution in place to fix this, “Oh, Tommy nearly killed Lucy with a fishing knife, so lets just suspend him for a week or so, then he can come back and finish her off” – discipline is a fucking joke these days.

I’m in my really early twenties, so I’m young (in-case you want to know that). But when I went to school, I remember nearly being expelled (not suspended) for having too many absent days in year 12. Kids are killing each other and bringing knives to school, and only get suspended, yet I nearly got expelled for having too many days off? Where is the fucking justice and focus here?

I swear all of the stories I’ve heard from my parents and their time at school, it makes modern day schooling sound like a holiday camp. My mother recalls getting hit with a hard handled feather duster for only talking in class. My father getting the cane once because he was late to school, I think those kinds of extremes need to be brought back into schools immediately.

Bring back the cane, set-up some kind of hard labour detention program within the school which would make kids who did something wrong stay back after school hours and do work with the groundsman or make them come in on a weekend and do it. Is something like that really that hard to implement? Nope. Will the governments ever do something like that? Nope.

I find it comical and sad that the government is spending millions of dollars and wasting time on implementing an internet filter to protect kids from bad websites on the Internet, yet they’re not doing something about physical abuse happening in schools. Would you rather the government protect your kids from being stabbed or protect them from opening up a pornography website?

How about the government funds some school discipline programs, and perhaps implements self-defence classes into school. Get a martial arts expert, or ex professional boxer to come in and train kids at school to know the basics of defending themselves. Make it mandatory while you’re there.

Check out this news story which kind of inspired this opinionated rant: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,1,26803685-421,00.html

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